Playing to Win

When the girls were little, we loved to play the game Oregon Trail on the computer. Ashley in particular loved that game. What was most interesting about that game was the many number of smaller decisions you needed to make. When to leave? What provisions to buy? How much meat to hunt? But the end objective was the same. To arrive safe and sound at the other end.

It was amazing how much we would get hung up on the miniature games and completely miss the end objective. Ashley in particular loved to hunt and she would just keep blasting away at the buffalo because getting the buffalo became the objective. Problem was that you can't physically carry two tons of buffalo meat and your camp may die of scurvy because all you had them eat was meat. So inevitably Ashley's party would all die off before reaching the end. I on the other hand loved to have my party leave in January and they would all die off from freezing.

Life is always a series of smaller decisions but all with the objective of finishing well. Paul equates life to running a race. We are to run the race in such a way as to win the prize (1 Cor 9:24). He goes on in verses 26-27 to say how he does that. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified. I sense a lot of Oregon Trail type decisions that add up to winning the race.

Seemingly inconsequential decisions will make a huge difference in running the race of life. Kent Hughes wrote a book called "The Disciplines of a Godly Man". He breaks down those disciplines into relationships, soul, character, and ministry. I am just finishing up two years of meeting with a group of guys every Monday night and we essentially focus on those disciplines to be men of God. It is tough - we each have those items of baggage that hold us back. But we are committed to those disciplines that help us to run the race in such a way that we can win.

Life as a Video Game

It seems like there are waves of time in our lives where the struggle of life and death become more and more real. In the past several weeks, we have had numerous friends lose loved ones. Some of these were longstanding illnesses and in some cases they were abrupt and unexpected. Each has its own challenges. How do you go through life on this earth where the struggle of death permeates so? 

Last week I was listening to a podcast by Radiolab called "The Cathedral" and I was profoundly moved by listening to this. It is about a family who struggles through the terminal illness of their child. The father is moved to create a video game called "That Dragon Cancer" that lets the player personally experience the challenges of this type of situation. But it is beyond that - it is how you experience the joys and sorrows of life and death. You can listen to the podcast below - it runs about 32 minutes but worth your listening.
 

I just finished reading the book "Happiness" by Randy Alcorn. The Bible has much to say about the sheer joy we experience by knowing the Lord God personally. Life in the kingdom is going to be one massive party. We can experience that in part now. But then life is punctuated by the sting of death (1 Cor. 15:56). That is an accurate depiction of life in this world during the fall. It is the preview of the kingdom, but the reality of the fall. This video game seems to do a really nice job of capturing that conundrum.

Powerball Mania

Spoiler alert - I have never bought a lottery ticket and I never will. I never understood the fascination of the lottery. I think it is a primary weapon in the arsenal of the evil one because wealth is the great distraction. One, we weary ourselves out to get it. The proverb says "Do not weary yourself to gain wealth, cease from your consideration of it. When you set your eyes on it, it is gone." (23:4-5).

Secondly, once you get it (wealth), you want to give it back. It becomes the big life wrecker. Something like 75% of lottery recipients end up in bankruptcy. It wrecks relationships as well. When we sold two businesses in 1999 and again in 2003, I came into some significant wealth. I found myself figuring out how to "invest" it which translates to how to "spend" it. I found myself wandering adrift with the new found wealth. My relationship with my God was damaged as were other relationships. Thankfully, it was stripped through God's mercy and discipline manifested in some bad decisions on my part. I have told many people that I am thankful for that time although it was painful going through it. I can testify that God is excellent at stripping wealth. Some of us are really good at handling wealth but most are not. You may think you are but chances are you are not.

I have this mental image of a dog chasing a car. The dog thinks catching the car is a major coup. But pity the poor dog that actually catches the car. The car will squash the wayward dog like a bug.

The wealthiest man of his time wrote a biography of his life in the midst of his wealth. His name is Solomon and his autobiography is Ecclesiastes. Solomon used a word throughout the book that describes the folly of wealth. It is the word "meaningless". This book is worthy of your consideration.

The sleep of the working man is pleasant, whether he eats little or much; but the full stomach of the rich man does not allow him to sleep. (Eccl. 5:12)

Being a Truth Seeker

I received an e-mail from a friend of mine this past week. I knew without even opening the e-mail that it was bogus. It was because the friend of mine had passed away several months ago. It was pretty easy to spot because there was hard, objective truth that I knew that my friend could not have written the e-mail. It was even shocking to see the e-mail because I knew without researching it that it was patently false.

Our culture has become increasingly either ignorant or blatant when it comes to truth. Truth is something that is objective. Opinion is something that is subjective. I am looking out my window at home and seeing a windy, rainy day and can say that the weather stinks. But someone like my wife who loves rainy days like this may disagree and say no it is a great day. That is opinion (even though most may agree with me). Lying on the other hand is objective. If I say it is sunny outside, then that is a lie because it is obviously not sunny (the sun is out there somewhere). So many of us have mixed truth and opinion together. Truth has become optional.

I believe God's word contained in Scripture is truth and if I am a truth seeker, I will seek to know more of the truth. This allows me to also know what is counterfeit, just like my friend's e-mail. Circumstances cannot overcome truth. I had a friend who once justified committing adultery by saying that God had put the woman in his path and he desired her. After all, doesn't desire come from God? He needed a good dope-slap because God cannot violate His objective truth and adultery is clearly a sinful violation of the marriage covenant. Some of us willingly ignore the truth and some of us are just ignorant of it. If we speed 70 miles an hour in a 50 zone and the policeman pulls us over, ignorance of the law will be no excuse.

Being a truth seeker means diligently seeking to know it and then applying it. I have been told that in a bank you are not taught to recognize every variation of counterfeit bills, but to know the real thing so intimately that it is very clear when you see a counterfeit. But if a bank teller still accepts the counterfeit, then he/she has knowledge but does not act on it. Both are necessary to be truth seekers.

My 2016 Be Goals

It's a new year and everyone always starts by making resolutions. My kids got me a Fitbit for Christmas and I am already addicted to this thing. It tells me in real time how I am tracking to my goals. It is laser built for someone like me who is obsessive about goals. The challenge is making goals sustainable. So many times I set out for example to lose weight and I can't get past the change in myself that has to occur such as forsaking bad stuff to see the change in weight through.

Be Goals are a change in who I am as a child of God. So every January, I have to remind myself of who I can be as a child of God and turn to Him to make the impossible possible. So here they are with only a brief comment on each one.

Be Holy
It always starts with the most difficult one. Holiness is something only God can truly be yet we are reminded to be holy as God is holy. A difficult proposition but possible if the Christ is living through me.

Be Prayerful
Prayer is dialogue with the creator God. God has made that possible. God wants me to talk to Him the way a child talks to their father. How precious little time I truly spend in dialogue with God. The Holy Spirit is in me and helps me along in my weakness.

Be Patient
Yikes - this is a challenge for me. The man who tailgates people and loses his temper at every little thing. Patience is basically frustration when you are held back from expectations. It starts with improper expectations.

Be Mindful
Similar to patience, this is a awareness of others and my surroundings. Coming from the man who realizes things on the wall that have been there for years, this is a truly daunting challenge.

Be Supportive
This takes mindful to another level because it is a proactive reaction to being mindful. How can I be supportive of others in my work, community, relationships, etc.

Be Trusting
It is a danger to yourself to always be skeptical of others. I would rather be let down than be constantly skeptical of others. So many times I held off on sending that bad e-mail because I assumed the worst in people.

Be Accountable
Hardest thing for a man to be. We like living in our own cocoon and yet we have to be accountable to others. It is critical for men to have those relationships where we can be transparent and listen to brothers as they see areas of change needed in our lives.

Be a Friend
Deb and I were just talking about how much value we place on friendships as we have grown older. We have such a wonderful core group of friends and it is so important for me just to be a friend. I also want/need to develop new relationships.

Be Diligent
These words ring out in my head as Paul says to Timothy - "be diligent to present yourselves as one approved". It means we have to be proactive. This is one of Coveys 7 Habits.

Be Consistent
Finally, being consistent throughout the year is the path. It is January 3 and by God's grace by January 10, I won't have violated most of these already.

Note that Be Successful is not on the list. I believe that by God's grace and Him living through me, that these 10 goals. God says to Joshua two additional Be Goals - "Have I not commanded you, be strong and courageous, do not be terrified or be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you may go."

Destructive Anger

Those of us that are diehard Cleveland sports fans and especially Browns fans know firsthand the experience of anger. This year, it is likely that the Browns will end up with one of their worst records since they entered back into the league. There have been many Sundays where I would watch and just get myself worked up and then question why I would waste a Sunday just making myself angry. But the worst was the Monday night game, the "Kick-6" game where the Browns blew the field goal and the Ravens ran it back for a touchdown. I was watching in bed with Deb sound asleep. I jumped off the bed in a fit of anger and muttered a slew of expletives that would make even some of you blush. Deb said it was quite a show.

There are two types of anger that are talked about in the bible. The first is righteous anger which is looking at things from God's perspective. This has to do with seeing the sin in the world or violations of the moral law. That should make us angry. The other type of anger is directed towards frustrating circumstances or with people who are frustrating us. This is not a biblical type of anger. It is an insidious anger that actually harms the harbinger of the anger. It destroys the person from the inside-out.

But yet so many embrace this type of anger. We have a friend who bears a deep-seated resentment towards a deceased member of the family and will not let it go. I heard from my step-father a story of someone who he had not seen in 40 years who told him that he resented him for getting awarded a prize 40 years earlier that he thought he deserved. My step-father had no knowledge of the apparent slight but the other man obviously did for 40 years and it did nothing but harm himself. This type of anger is destructive. James says that the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. On the contrary, we are to quickly make it right and forgive the offending party. James again says - Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. 

Isn't it interesting that the remedy for anger is to be quick to hear and slow to speak. Hearing the other person often defuses the anger. Steven Covey wrote a book as a followup to the 7 Habits called the "8th Habit" which is mostly about finding what he calls the "Third Alternative". In that book, the "talking stick" is a tool to force someone to listen because whoever holds the talking stick knows he will not be interrupted. I have used that from time to time to force conflict resolution in the form of hearing. I am inspired heading into 2016 to be a man of hearing, patience and forgiveness.  It is definitely in my self-interest.

May God bless your family this Christmas and holiday season. See you in 2016.

What is Fellowship?

In Acts 2:42 says that the early church as continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.  In this single verse we know the recipe for growing together in Christ. The word that people tend to misunderstand is the word fellowship.

Fellowship is the word koinonia and it literally means partnership or sharing. Someone in fellowship has a duty to stimulate or build up his partner. It has a uniquely spiritual context in its usage in the scriptures. An end goal of any fellowship in this biblical model is drawing nearer to them and to Christ. I say this because fellowship can be used almost entirely socially. It is not that socializing is bad, but fellowship goes well beyond socializing.

Last night, we were with a gathering of believers at our good friends home. It was their annual "Happy Birthday Jesus" party and that was a great example of fellowship. It is a time of seeing old friends, sharing our lives, and singing praises to God. You don't come away from that time without a sense of feeling renewed spiritually. Deb and I are so blessed to have friends that we have shared life with and have borne each others burdens with. But those friends are not just friends - they stimulate us to closer relationship with God.

 
Isn't it amazing that God did not choose for us to walk through life on an island? He puts people in our path that we are to live life together. I have to admit that over the course of my thirties and even into my forties that I did not appreciate those relationships as I do now in my fifties. We desperately need those bonds to grow in relationship with the Lord.