Words of Affirmation

Women really don’t understand the power they have over men.  You would have thought we would have learned from people like Samson, but we didn’t.  We men have to know that the women in our lives support us and affirm us. 

Example #1 – James Braddock’s wife does not want him to fight and had he gone into the ring, his brain would have been pummeled to mush.  But she goes into the locker room and he comes out of there a new man.

Then there is this Rocky classic.  He is about to go into the ring with Apollo Creed with a gut on him my size.  But all it takes is Adrian telling him “WIN”, then the usual montage of Rocky willing himself into the best shape of his career.

Ok, so that is the movies and this is real life.  Yes, it is but it happens outside of Hollywood too.  My wife and I have this thing where when I am on my way home, I let her know via text message and these are the types of response she gives me (used with permission).

Dan – Leaving now, home in 30
Deb – My heart swelleth in loove for you.
Dan – Home in 30
Deb – The sun shines brighter just knowing that.
Dan – Home in 30
Deb – Rejoicing in holy matrimony!
Dan – Home in 30
Deb – Oh how sweet that sounds.
Dan – Home in 25 (was on my way then)
Deb – Oh shivers of marital joy
Dan – Home shortly
Deb – My day is now completely full of joy

Now I know that sounds completely hokey, but it doesn’t matter what has happened that day.  These words affirm me, they build me up.  I know it’s coming and I know it’s corny but I love it.  When we mentor young couples, we remind them how much they need to know the love language of the other.  My wife knows for me it is words of affirmation.  She builds me up.  It may not have the Hollywood flair, but it works.

Remembering Rwanda

In 2005, I visited Rwanda as part of a team from World Vision.  The little video montage I put together captured the essence of the trip.  It was a life changing trip for me.  Rwanda is a small country the size of Maryland with about 9 million residents.  Rwanda went through a horrendous genocide in 1994 when between 700,000 and 1 million Rwandans were systematically slaughtered mostly in a one month killing season.  So imagine about 10% of the country being killed.  Neighbor slaughtered neighbor, friends slaughtered friends, and even family member slaughtered family member.  The distinction over who lived and who died was whether they were Tutsi, a somewhat arbitrary ethnic determination originally started by the Belgians when they were in charge of the country. 

I have read most every book on Rwanda I can find.  The common theme is that those that took life depersonalized their neighbor, their friend, their family member.  The interviews revealed the lie that the taking of life was part of a mission almost a job.  The killers would go out systematically and slaughter and then come back for a little party at the end of the day.  They did not see a person, they saw a task.  Those that survived commented that they could see a lifeless person in their attacker.  Also interestingly, the church was no refuge.  In several instances, people were urged to go to a church as a safe haven only to have priests turn on them and be slaughtered.

Can this thing happen today?  Absolutely!  Rwanda was essentially a “Christian country”.  Do we realize it is the presence of the Holy Spirit today that keeps us from this happening anywhere today?  The Holy Spirit is what moves and causes us to see people as they are in God’s image.  If the Holy Spirit were not here as will happen in the end times, that people will have no restraint.  Satan will have a field day as there will be no restraining element at all.  Do we realize that we are so utterly depraved that rampant killing could easily occur any time at any place?  People left to their own devices are incredibly evil. 

Thankfully that is not the end of the story.  Rwanda has experienced rebirth.  It started with the supernatural power of forgiveness.  People had to have a special dose of the Holy Spirit to forgive their attackers.  And they did.  The Holy Spirit gives incredible power to forgive and rebuild relationships.   We visited Rwanda again in 2009 and again saw the power of forgiveness.  Rwanda could be have completely disintegrated, but it did not.  It is an example of renewal by the Holy Spirit.