A Lasting Marriage is Supernatural

“Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the Church”
Ephesians 5:25

This past week was Valentines Day.  It is a day that makes a romantic out of each of us that are not wired that way naturally.  Personally, I think the florists and chocolatiers invented this day.  I did my usual – going to pick up some flowers and a card.  I know I can do better and from time to time I can surprise myself and Debsue.  Debsue made a very nice dinner.  I know I am married to someone special – I don’t need a day to remind me of that fact.  Now that we are empty nesters, it is really fun actually getting to spend frequent time with her.  We recently instituted Friday night pizza and movie night and we are making our way through the Lord of the Rings trilogy (extended edition). 

It has not always been this way.  Our marriage was really rocky the first few years and I was questioning in my mind whether we could make it.  Both of us were trying to make each other the ideal mate to meet our expectations.  After we came to an end of this hopeless cause, we asked the Lord to change ourselves.  The transformation did no occur overnight, it occurred gradually fermenting the seeds of a solid marriage.  But make no mistake, it did happen.  The commitment to bring our marriage before the Lord preceded the feelings.  I am amazed any marriage can survive based on a worldly approach.  My guess is that if Debsue and I filled out a matchmaker type survey, we would have found there was no way we were compatible.  We had different interests – like she was smart, well rounded and I was not.  But a supernatural transformation made our marriage come together.  And so here we are coming up on 26 years. 

It has not been and will continue to not be easy.  Satan would love nothing better than to disrupt our marriage.  My prayer has always been to protect my marriage from fleshly impulses – that the weapons we avail have the power to demolish strongholds (2 Cor. 10:4).  It has also been to mold me into a Godly husband with a commitment to a godly marriage.  I have seen my wife in like manner transformed and the resultant joy that comes from that.  I know God can supernaturally transform any marriage because I have seen it firsthand. 

A Calf Came Out

“I threw it into the fire and out came this calf” – Exodus 32:24
We live in an excuses du jour society.  It seems like so few of us take responsibility for our actions.  It is always someone else’s fault!  That is why we have so many lawyers always ready and willing to put the blame on someone else.  Even when we are caught red-handed do we every acknowledge our own blame.  When one of our girls was young (will keep you guessing), we went to wake her up in the morning and found that her hair had been cut, at a very uneven way I might add.  Since she could not have driven herself to get her hair cut, it was pretty obvious this was an inside job.  When we woke her up and asked her about her hair, she said “I don’t know how those scissors got in my bed and cut my hair”.  Another one of our girls refused to take the blame for cherry picking M&M’s our of the mix of peanuts, dried fruit, and M&M’s.  When she was out at school, this practice seemed to stop yet we never could get her to admit she was cherry picking the M&M’s.  I big crime in our house I might add.

Aaron was caught red-handed.  The people under his control were out of control engaging in licentiousness and  orgies before this hand made idol.  Yet, Aaron could not confess this before the Lord, Moses, and Joshua.  He first blamed the people in v.23 and then pulled this ridiculous excuse out of the mix and said the calf made itself.  Kind of like Adam’s excuse in Genesis 3:12 – blaming the “woman who you gave me”.

God forgives us when we admit our sin.  When we don’t admit our sin, we are subject to further disciplining until we come to and end in ourselves.  God wants us to come clean, He wants us to come before Him in true repentance.  1 John 1:9 says “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins”.  This does not mean a half-hearted remorse particularly if we get caught.  That’s what Judas had.  It is a deep seated repentance that goes beyond the surface.  The kind of repentance we see in David in Psalm 51.  Sin breaks God’s heart and it should break ours as well.

Consolation to the Soul

In “When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, your consolations delight my soul.”  Psalm 94:19

this past week, I had a medical procedure that is normal and customary for a 51 year-old. Like a lot of us, I had some definite apprehension going into this minor surgery. I had experienced some changes to my physical body that had some connection to the medical procedure even though it was routine and I was concerned they would find something. When I was in preoperative with the nurse, she asked me "do you have any concerns?". I was honest and said yes. One of my biggest fears, particularly as I get older is a long and debilitating illness. I'm not afraid of dying because I know I will be in the presence of Jesus when I die. However a long and debilitating illness would be much tougher for me to handle.

I'm certain that God knows every anxious thought that we have. He does not give us any more than we can mentally and spiritually handle. In times of difficulty, his Spirit strengthens us beyond what we could possibly bear on our own. I have seen in the lives of some dear friends this exhibited much more as they battle cancer. When we are under stress, that is when we experience the abiding presence of God's grace. It is a comfort to know that Jesus experienced all that we have, yet without (Hebrews 4:15). He intercedes for us, and the Spirit intercedes for us with precisely the right prayer at the right time.

God does not give Christians a free pass.  We suffer the same effects of sin in this world as anyone else.  But what we do get is consolation to the soul and the assurance that God will not give us any more than we can handle. Further we know there is a glory beyond the grave where there is no more suffering in no more pain.

I made it through the medical procedure without incident. A relief for sure.  However, I know that times have come and will continue to come where God’s consolations will delight my soul. 

Passing the Torch

“And even when I am old and gray, oh God, do not forsake me, until I declare your strength to this generation, your power to all who are to come." 
Psalm 71:18

This past week, our youngest daughter turned 20. Now Debbie and I no longer have kids as defined by teenage years. As I get older, the legacy that we leave is the most important thing. I am past the halfway point of my life which causes me to be retrospective. Our girls are well past the point where the influence that we can have upon them makes a big difference. They are their own persons, they live their own lives. Our prayer has been since they were little kids that they would grow up to love the Lord Jesus Christ and to seek a relationship with him. Our second prayer has been that they would marry godly men who would share the same relationship. We cannot change the past; hopefully by God's grace we did nothing to present a stumbling block to our children.

Now we're at a point where we can see how their lives turn out. It is really fun and the journey is just beginning. This past year we saw a daughter get married to a godly man thus fulfilling one of our prayers. We saw two of our daughters graduate and move on into their careers and livelihoods. I am not disappointed that none of them chose to follow their father into the business world. One is a cartoonist – how weird is that? I can't even draw a good stick figure. One aspires to serve others – what a blessing! One wants to teach math and is well beyond my ability to help with the homework.

The psalmist finds himself at the endpoint and strongly desires to see the fruits of his legacy. We all want to pass the torch to the next generation.  it is hard to admit I am old – seems like just yesterday I was their age.  But I am and can see that God has worked miracles in our children and has graciously used us in their lives.  My prayer is that I am able to see more and more how they turn out – kind of like a movie plot that is just evolving.  By the way, when do we get our grandchildren?