I am in my mid fifties and so I am old enough that I have seen the "old days" and young enough that I have seen and in many cases embraced the new social media age. This is unlike say someone 10 or 20 years older than I who might be too far past the social media age. Further as a professor (albeit adjunct grunt), I get to hang around young people and observe their habits. Finally, as a business owner, I get to hire some of those young people.
There are many things to like about the social media age. We can connect with more people and stay almost in constant connection with the people we care about the most. I can reconnect with people I went to high school or college with. My mom lives in Peru and I can stay connected to her. I can know what is going on in the lives of my kids almost as if they were nearby.
However, I have to say that there are some emerging trends that I have seen just getting worse and worse over time. I am going to focus on those things that impact how we communicate with each other.
Quantity communication over quality
When is the last time you read a well written letter? When is the last time you got a phone call that just was from someone who wanted to say hi? I got a call like that a few weeks ago and nearly fell off my chair. We have fallen victims to the "sound bite" generation and lost the desire or even the ability in well thought through ways. Social media doesn't always feel "social".
Stretches of the truth
Truth is becoming more and more of a premium and stretching the truth is more of a norm. The Holy Spirit is really convicting me of that one. For example, let's say I am hitting .375 in baseball; I conveniently round up to .400. I used to say I played baseball in college. But the truth is I tried out and gave it up after about 2 weeks. So I have made a commitment to not lie or even stretch the truth. And it is so refreshing. So many resumes I see embellish the truth. Little lies begat big lies.
Distrust has become the norm
Ever wonder why there are so many personal injury lawyers? They are now sponsors in the media and they are on every billboard on the highway. Have you ever asked yourself whether that is indicative of a distrustful society. There is a hard and soft cost of that distrust.
Social media has become an agent of hate
Similar to the one above. Social media is a way of expressing venom and feel somewhat anonymous. Good article on this in Inside Higher Education. In the past, if I disagreed with someone, I would go to them and talk it out. Now it is a matter of lashing out when we feel wronged. Social media gives us a sense of anonymity. I do the same thing in my car when I tailgate someone. If I was standing behind them in line, I certainly wouldn't push up to them and yell at them to hurry up. It is the sense of anonymity that does that.
No contacts back
I am guilty here as well. Something that drives me crazy is when I am trying to reach out to someone I know and they don't contact me back. Inevitably, they might say it is because they didn't have something to say or it is bad news. I get the blind sales calls that I ignore just because I am subject to resource restrictions, namely time. However, I am talking of the person that I know who just doesn't give me the courtesy of a call back. Send me at least a one sentence e-mail or text telling me I received your note and will contact you.
Opinions are often subject to political correctness
The fascinating thing about social media is that it allows a sounding board. However, more and more it has to fit within someone's box. If it is not in that box, it is viewed as anti this and anti that. Opinions now have to go through a certain filter. As a leader, I choose not to pick on things that I know are inflammatory even though I have strong beliefs on the subject. It is not worth the risk now. I would rather talk on the really big, weighty matters. That is those of faith and relationships.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Thoughts on the Donald Sterling Affair
I usually don't weigh in on something like the whole Donald Sterling mess, but have thought about it a lot the past few weeks.
No surprise that what comes out of man is amazingly wicked
He said some bad stuff. I thought if there was a tape recording going on in my head as thoughts pop in, I would render 10 times worse than Donald Sterling. I am a racist, sexist, polygamist, and any other "ist" there is. Should we really be surprised at anything that proceeds out of the mouth of man?
“But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.
Matt. 15:18-19
Wasn't the matter said in private?
Ouch, if everything I said to someone privately out of frustration became public, I would have to sell my empire (??) too. Didn't the law get broken in the process of breaking a private confidence? Shouldn't we assume that what we say in private stays private? Shouldn't the betrayal of confidence receive the greater notoriety?
Social media is making private conversations that much harder to keep private
Wow, social media is powerful. I find myself thinking to public figures who would be subject to scandal based on exposing what is said privately. The risk is that we become a much more guarded society because what we say can become known so fast. I wonder if Solomon in his description in Ecclesiastes below would know the impact the "bird" of social media would have.
Furthermore, in your bedchamber do not curse a king, and in your sleeping rooms do not curse a rich man, for a bird of the heavens will carry the sound, and the winged creature will make the matter known.
Ecclesiastes 10:20
More is made of the racist comments than the apparent adultery going on
No doubt that Sterling said some bad stuff, but nothing was said of his apparent adultery going on with his "personal assistant". I remember a day when adultery caught people's attention as a pretty heinous sin.
I think people react because they know they are probably just as guilty in their own thought lives
We seem pretty quick to point our flaws in others characters. Maybe we should spend some time analyzing our own deficiencies of character. Jesus says the sin of others should always cause us to look inside first.
No surprise that what comes out of man is amazingly wicked
He said some bad stuff. I thought if there was a tape recording going on in my head as thoughts pop in, I would render 10 times worse than Donald Sterling. I am a racist, sexist, polygamist, and any other "ist" there is. Should we really be surprised at anything that proceeds out of the mouth of man?
“But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.
Matt. 15:18-19
Wasn't the matter said in private?
Ouch, if everything I said to someone privately out of frustration became public, I would have to sell my empire (??) too. Didn't the law get broken in the process of breaking a private confidence? Shouldn't we assume that what we say in private stays private? Shouldn't the betrayal of confidence receive the greater notoriety?
Social media is making private conversations that much harder to keep private
Wow, social media is powerful. I find myself thinking to public figures who would be subject to scandal based on exposing what is said privately. The risk is that we become a much more guarded society because what we say can become known so fast. I wonder if Solomon in his description in Ecclesiastes below would know the impact the "bird" of social media would have.
Furthermore, in your bedchamber do not curse a king, and in your sleeping rooms do not curse a rich man, for a bird of the heavens will carry the sound, and the winged creature will make the matter known.
Ecclesiastes 10:20
More is made of the racist comments than the apparent adultery going on
No doubt that Sterling said some bad stuff, but nothing was said of his apparent adultery going on with his "personal assistant". I remember a day when adultery caught people's attention as a pretty heinous sin.
I think people react because they know they are probably just as guilty in their own thought lives
We seem pretty quick to point our flaws in others characters. Maybe we should spend some time analyzing our own deficiencies of character. Jesus says the sin of others should always cause us to look inside first.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Two Becoming One Flesh
It is wedding season. We are invited to three weddings in the space of about a month. The wedding this weekend was to a couple that we are mentoring. Picture below is of the wedding party praying for them. That is our ministry and we feel really called to do it given the early challenges of our marriage. We are thankful to be able to make however small a difference in the lives of newly married.
Also this week I found myself apart from my beloved Debsue for three days mid week and now this weekend. When I used to travel a lot 8-10 years ago, it did not seem that hard. But now having been married longer and not traveling as much, I have to admit it is harder and harder to be apart. Things seem a little out of sorts and oh maybe incomplete.
Marriage is two people really becoming one. It is not one plus one equaling three, but one plus one becoming one. I know I am incomplete without my wife. She completes me. I sense the incompleteness when we are apart. It goes beyond missing her - it goes to actually feeling kind of out of sorts. There is something wonderful and even supernatural about it. God weaves together two disparate people into one flesh. I am sure that is what my mother-in-law is going through as she not just grieves for the loss of my father-in-law, but actually has to adjust her life to being without him.
As wonderful as marriage is however, it has to come second to the relationship with Jesus. Even a marriage can become an idol if not trapped properly. No human relationship can track the closeness and intimacy of the creator God. Marriage is the closest human beings come to the intimacy we have with God, but it is a distant second. It is a foretaste, a preview of how God loves the church - but something even more wonderful is to come.
Also this week I found myself apart from my beloved Debsue for three days mid week and now this weekend. When I used to travel a lot 8-10 years ago, it did not seem that hard. But now having been married longer and not traveling as much, I have to admit it is harder and harder to be apart. Things seem a little out of sorts and oh maybe incomplete.
Marriage is two people really becoming one. It is not one plus one equaling three, but one plus one becoming one. I know I am incomplete without my wife. She completes me. I sense the incompleteness when we are apart. It goes beyond missing her - it goes to actually feeling kind of out of sorts. There is something wonderful and even supernatural about it. God weaves together two disparate people into one flesh. I am sure that is what my mother-in-law is going through as she not just grieves for the loss of my father-in-law, but actually has to adjust her life to being without him.
As wonderful as marriage is however, it has to come second to the relationship with Jesus. Even a marriage can become an idol if not trapped properly. No human relationship can track the closeness and intimacy of the creator God. Marriage is the closest human beings come to the intimacy we have with God, but it is a distant second. It is a foretaste, a preview of how God loves the church - but something even more wonderful is to come.
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