Sunday, March 29, 2015

Wisdom That is Not Self-Serving

I got takeout Chinese food this week and I eagerly opened my fortune cookie to see what pearls of wisdom were in there.  This is what mine said.

I was Ralphie on "A Christmas Story" who infamously said "A Crummy Commercial?".  I paid good money for this Chinese food and this is what I got.  Someone must have run out of good ideas.

A lot of us think that God is too busy running the world that he has run out of time and wisdom. But James says that God gives to us "generously and without reproach" (1:5). In other words we can never ask him for too much wisdom and He never gives it grudgingly. God doesn't say "Oh here comes Dan - he is out of wisdom again" which happens often by the way.

Another interesting thing about this verse is it's placement. It comes right after the end of the verses talking about trials. Trials force us to abandon much thought that we have wisdom. Trials bring us to our "wits end" (Psalm 107:27). It is great to know that God does not leave us in trials but offers us His abundant wisdom.

As my kids got older, it is interesting that they finally got around to asking their mother and I for advice. As they approached the real world, they recognized that we had experiences and wisdom worth asking for. And we got a small glimpse of what it feels like to be God in dispensing wisdom. We were only too glad to help and that was a form of love. God will not leave us lacking.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Quick to Hear, Slow to Speak, Slow to Anger

This you know my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.  James 1:19-20

I love the book of James - it has to be my favorite book of the Bible because it is so practical and down to earth.  I have committed to memorizing it this year and I am sure from time to time I will comment on it in my blog. James talks to scattered believers all over the globe at the time of its writing but it feels like he is just talking to you and I in our living room. He refers to us constantly in his book as "his beloved brothers".

I talk too much, I listen too little, and I get angry too easily. Isn't it interesting how those three are connected? It starts with listening to others. I have a habit of not listening with empathy. One of Steven Covey's seven habits is "Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood". My brain goes to what I am going to say without listening to what the other is saying. Or I have a nasty habit of filling in what the other is saying. My wife and I call each other out on that all the time. Wise counselors say very little. They have perfected the act of listening. I have a friend who is an incredibly good listener. His listening enables him to ask wise questions. My board of directors of my company are fantastic listeners. So it starts there.

If you are quick to hear, you have to be slow to speak. You wait until it is time to speak. Most of us don't wait until the pause. One time I had co-workers who were constantly interrupting each other. We used another Steven Covey technique called the "talking stick". The talking stick is an object that rests in the hands of another until they are done and then they push it to you to symbolize that they are done. Another technique is asking "framing questions". It simply means repeating back what you think the other person is saying.

Finally, isn't it interesting that anger is associated with listening and speaking. But that makes sense. So much of conflict is rooted in an inability to communicate. Anger is born out of frustrated expectations. I find it really interesting that much of my anger surfaces in two venues where I retain some level of anonymity - e-mail and car. E-mail is uni-directional communication. I can say exactly what is on my mind without any response from you. So many times (even this past week), I sent an e-mail in anger based on a total misconception. Should have called the person when it sent off a nerve and it would have revealed the issue. It is the cowards way out and misdirected anger is cowardly.

Second is driving. I am a recovering tailgater. Just yesterday (as I was leaving church), I tailgated a woman who was driving slower than I would have liked. She got angry at me, let me pass and honked the horn at me. Now if I was in a line at the grocery store and I saw that woman's face, I would have let her go in front of me. But because I was in anonymity, I get frustrated. I literally have to imagine that person in that car as in front of me personally.

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Trying to Do Better

I love ESPN's Pardon the Interruption (PTI).  Because it is on in the afternoon I hardly ever get to watch it, but I listen to it via podcast. Tony Kornheiser always closes the show with "we'll try to do better then next time" and Michael Wilbon always closes with "same time tomorrow knuckleheads".  Because I have nothing better to do, I captured a week of show closes for your listening pleasure.


Our repentance to God must often seem like this. It is hollow almost comical. "I'll try and do better the next time Lord" knowing full well I will stumble again. Often it happens with our closest relationships. If I belch at home (usually after something heavily carbonated), I might say I'm sorry, but really I am quite proud of my ability to belch loudly.

The good news is we have a God who loves to forgive repentant sinners. My sin breaks God's heart and he so wants to restore me. He will forgive and restore countless times, endless numbers of times. But there is a caution flag. There was and is a cost to this forgiveness. Jesus took my sins to the cross so my sin should grieve me more in the cost of it than the fear of penalty. The writer to the Hebrews says "If we go on sinning willfully, there is no longer a sacrifice" (13:26) and "we are trampling underfoot the blood of the covenant" (13:29).

My sin should make me weep for what it cost God far more than what it can cost me. It cost God everything. It should make my repentance genuine and not hollow. I need to trust God to move me away from sin in true repentance. I can no longer just "try to do better the next time".

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Are Signs Ok?

King Hezekiah was dying and he appealed to God to live through His illness. God listened to Hezekiah and gave him 15 more years of life. Further, He gave Hezekiah a supernatural sign that He heard his prayer by causing a shadow on the stairway to go back 10 steps. Note Hezekiah did not ask for the sign.

King Ahaz was told he would be delivered from the King of Aram. He was told to ask for a sign of this deliverance. He refused and the country was judged. Moses and Gideon asked for signs and they were given them. They were not chastised for their requests. God uses signs as signs of his covenant with the people, yet Jesus says an evil and adulterous nation craves a sign.

The word "sign" appears 90 times in the ESV Bible. As people, we crave for signs. Something visible that we can see or touch. We live in the seen world. Yet we are told to look at things that are unseen (2 Cor 4:17-18). So what are we to think of signs today?

If I think biblically about this issue, I seem to come down that God does not care for signs that test and validate him to an unbelieving faith. We might call those foxhole or ultimatum requests. I think that is what Jesus was referring to when He responds to the Pharisees in Matthew 12. But I do think that God will provide signs to a weak faith. I call these "fleece" prayers after Gideon in the Book of Judges. God knows that my faith can be pretty flimsy and that I simply cannot live 100% in trust of the unseen world and I really need to see Him every now and then in the seen world. So he says these prayers are ok. Further I have learned from the Bible that God will give these signs even when we don't ask for them.

I am so thankful that God knows how fragile I am and meets me halfway in the seen world. It might be something really tiny but very obvious that God is here with me in the seen world. Something that encourages me in my faith. There are many days where I just feel completely lost and abandoned. And seemingly in those days God appears in my seen world with a sign. However, I want to be careful that I don't cross that fine line to demanding a prayer to authenticate God. He is there whether I see Him or not.