Decluttering - Houses and Memories

These last two weeks have been just draining.  We married off a daughter on Friday, the 9th.  Then we spent the better part of last week packing up our house and moving to Brecksville.  Finally today we handed off the keys to the new owner of the Aurora house. 

The wedding was just incredibly joyful.  It was a sunny day which was quite a blessing considering it rained all week.  Here is a picture of me walking my baby girl down the aisle (I feel like singing Butterfly Kisses, but my kids don't like the song) and about to hand her to her new husband.  You can also see all of the Quigg girls in the second photo (The Three Little Quiggs as they were called in elementary school). 

 

Going back to the house bit, we had all of our girls at the house one final time.  We did see Bethany in here wedding dress come down the stairs.  She got ready in her old room.  All of the kids were here and it was a zoo.  But a fitting end to this chapter of our lives.

As the girls parted the house, I asked them to say their final goodbyes to our house in Aurora.  All of them shared that while they cherish the memories in that house, there was no special attachment to the physical dwelling.  Ashley decided she would take one final walk through the deep woods in the back, but the mosquitoes overrode her sense of nostalgia.  No crying, no regrets.  Chapter over, next chapter.  For them, they had already started their next chapter long before.  This stopped being their home long ago.  So maybe I was thinking too much attachment to the house.  All three girls are renting now so maybe a sense of ownership of a home isn't there anyway.  It is just a roof over our head.

So often we associate memories with physical things like a house.  We think it is the object when it is the moment, the relationship, the event.  We get together and we say "remember when".  Houses and objects can be preserved as memory bearers.  I remember how upset I was when in college my parents sold our house.  How could they?  But yet, I still remember those childhood places and they are permanently etched in my brain while I have physical life.  I still drive by our old house in Chagrin Falls where we lived for three years.  I remember catching salamanders in the woods behind the house.  I remember the farm next to Gurney elementary school.  I remember going to the corner gas station with my dime and getting a coke (yes, I am that old).  That house has long been gone, but the memories remain.  My brother when visiting for the wedding took a nostalgia trip to our childhood homes. 

We will greatly miss our house in Aurora and we loved living there for 13 years, but we were prepared to move on.  We didn't cling to staying there when we easily could have.  I found today that it was not nearly as tough for me to leave the house that we raised our kids in and we lived so long in. We took one final walk of the neighborhood we loved so much but with no regret.  I think we reached a great demarcation point to move on.  And move on, we did.  We will however always cling to the memories which never go away.  But the physical house now belongs to someone else and Debsue and I are really good with that.

One final note - the house was sold to a family with four young kids.  We took special joy in the fact that this house will now become a home for another young family. 

So we are preparing for new memories.  This home is our next launching off point until God tarries us elsewhere.  

De-cluttering - Part 1

These next two weeks are going to be really instrumental for Debsue and I.  We are marrying off a daughter on Friday and then moving the following week.  In one sense, it marks the end of an era.  Our kids are not not going to be living with us again (at least not likely) and they are off living their own lives.  It is time to make a change.  It will be such a kick to have all three girls home for the final time and I get choked up thinking that it will be the last time.  We get to see Bethany coming down the steps in her wedding dress in the home that she grew up in.  Then the next week (no time for real reflection), we move to our new home in Brecksville.

Brecksville marks a real change for us.  We are going from a large home to a much smaller cluster home.  We are going from nearly six acres to exactly one foot.  That's right, we only own the land under the house and one foot of land around the perimeter.  But it is within walking distance of downtown Brecksville, the Metro Parks, the library, and the community center.  We could have just taken a mini-version of what we have now, but we chose a more radical change; a lifestyle change. 

You see, we both want to de-clutter our lives.  We are finding ourselves giving things away and feeling liberated in the process.  We decided that there was just no room for a piano, but we knew some friends who were looking for a piano for their small children and couldn't afford a new one.  We gave away a whole bunch of stuff to charity.  It truly is freeing to be lighter and more nimble.  We still have a long way to go, but we are finding our lives going in the direction of simpler.  Are you going in the direction of simpler?  As Americans, we seem to live for complicated. 

Are you married to your possessions?  Jesus said to the rich young ruler to "go and sell all your possessions and come follow me".  Jesus knew this was the problem for the man.  He even asks him if he "wishes to be complete" he must do this.  Is Jesus saying we can't have possessions?  Of course not.  Wealthy women financed his ministry.  He was buried in a rich man's tomb.  And Mark had the upper room where he spent his last days.  But we can't be married to our possessions or they will possess us. 

We started our de-cluttering several years ago and I would estimate it will take a number of more years to get further.  But the quality of our lives and our relationships thus far is vastly improved.  I feel closer to the God who redeemed me and to the wife of my 28 years.  We look forward to this next phase of our lives as God readies us for wherever He leads us.  We pray that we will be light enough on our feet to be ready for this next mission.