Impact!

For those who played baseball or golf, there is a sound and a feeling that is unmistakable. The ball hits a sweet spot on the bat that generates the most impact. The ball feels like it literally jumps off the bat and you pretty much know it immediately. I hit one like this last week (about 330 feet - not bad for a 57 year old with a wood bat) and it keeps you going playing a kids sport. I won't mention that in the same game I struck out twice.

When we think about what is best for our kids, it is not happiness, but impact. Impact comes behind righteousness (or holiness) but it is it's cousin. To be righteous and be productive in our troubled world means to make an impact. I remember the people that have made the most impact on me - people that took an interest in me and mentored me. My dad and father-in-law certainly are among those people. Deb and I are marriage mentors and it seems like so much to spend 16 weeks or so investing so much in one couple, but it is so worth it if we can make an impact on their marriage.

I think it is for that reason that I don't really think about retirement in the traditional sense. The need to make an impact lasts for a lifetime. I think the best years of impact-building in my life are still ahead. The thought of no impact and living only for myself seems fruitless. I think of the words of Paul - "do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interest of others" (Phil. 2:3-4).

Do you think of impact-building in this way? On this Fathers Day, are you building into the life of others? It is never too late to start.

Men Need To Step Up

Today being Father's day we remember those dads who are instrumental in our lives. My dad is 84 and living near Tucson, Arizona. My dad took a strong interest in me, especially my athletics. He still remembers things from my youth that I have long since forgotten.  My father-in-law was also very special in my life. Like my dad, he took a special interest in my various software businesses. He went to be with the Lord in November, 2013 and I still miss him often.

I spend a lot of time with men as part of my ministries. I am also an observer of men in our culture. I have to say I am gravely concerned. Maybe it is me, but men seem to be much more passive today. There is a big difference between being quiet and being passive. My girls tend to be dominant personalities, so the men in their life tend to be quiet. But that does not make them passive. Passive is defined by the dictionary as "accepting or allowing what happens or what others do, without active response or resistance". Withdrawn may be a better definition. Some of this is driven by our social media culture where it is so easy to withdraw.

Men are to be the spiritual leaders in the home. They are to set an example in ministry. In our marital mentoring, rarely will the man dispute that he is to be the leader in the home. But practically they don't do it. Why? It is so easy to let the wife lead. It starts with a personal relationship with Christ. If that is not strong, they is little chance for the home to be strong. If it is strong, the family is the beneficiary of the overflow life. Guys need to be in the presence of Christ reading Scripture, meditating, and praying often.

Second, men need to hang with other men. If men are in isolation, they are especially vulnerable. They need other men for accountability and exhortation. I meet with men frequently because not only do I need them, but they need me. Pat Morley, bestselling author of books to men says he can guarantee spiritual failure if those two things are absent. It is our only hope.

Known as a Dad

He was a very accomplished individual. A partner with a private equity firm, former CEO of a public company, and a CPA. He was very active in multiple boards and was on the Board of Regents of Pepperdine University. Yet I just knew Mark Kirk as Allie Kirk's dad and he was a good one at that. My daughter Bethany and Allie are close friends having gone to school together at Cuyahoga Valley Christian Academy. Mark passed into the presence of the Father this past week. It is fitting that the memorial service is on Father's Day because that was really Mark's major accomplishment. As a business guy, I want to be successful and make my mark in the world. However, that pales by comparison to my primary role on this earth as husband and father.

I remember going to pick up Bethany at the Kirk house (usually after some sleepover) and seeing how Mark interacted with his kids. By every account, he was a great father. I also have an image of passing Mark and his wife Robin on my way to work simply holding hands while walking in Hudson. It is interesting that while I did not know Mark very well, I knew him well enough; yet did not realize how accomplished he really was until reading his obituary. I knew him simply as Allie's Dad. But then that really is the highest calling.

The other thing I knew about Mark Kirk was that he had a relationship with Jesus Christ. That, he openly stated and that he lived. So it is comforting to know that he has passed out of this life but is in the presence of his Lord and Saviour. He had a relationship with his "Abba Father", the intimate word the Scriptures use for Daddy. On Father's Day we celebrate that he is united with his Daddy. Dad is the ultimate accomplishment.

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