A Father’s Reflection

Fathers, do not exasperate your children but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.  Ephesians 6:4

Debsue and I have three daughters. They are all adults ranging from 24 to 20.  Ashley, age 24 is in New York City and is a cartoonist by background and is also working as an assistant for a woman that buys and sells high end merchandise on eBay. Meghan, 23 is a sales assistant for a publishing company.  Her background is in international relations and has worked for several non-profits. Josh, our son-in-law is a graphic designer who grew up as in Pakistan as part of a multi-generational family. Josh and Meghan both work for the same company. Bethany, our baby is 20 and is going into her junior year at Wheaton College. She is a  math major with secondary education minor.

We are very proud of our daughters and son-in-law. As Debsue and I spent the day and conversed with each of them, it is just such a matter of joy that they are now living their lives and following the path that God has laid out before them. They are following the journey of life. These days are tough for this generation. The economy is tough. Jobs are tough to come by. It is a culture rampant with sinful conduct. It is a culture that has effectively relegated God to the back burner. It is not that this country is anti-God, it is that God is marginalized and compartmentalized.  For your kids to turn out well in the face of such opposition is a real joy.

As a parent, I am more aware that I have the potential to screw it up more than to help my kids. Most of parenting is knowing when to intervene and when to let go. The best thing we could do for our kids was to be committed to a relationship with Jesus Christ and to make that the center of the family. The second thing we could do was to be committed to each other as husband and wife. The third thing was to love them unconditionally – to model the kind of love God had for us. And we do love our kids unconditionally. There is nothing they could say or do that would make us change that. In our house, what I remember most about our times with our kids was that we laughed a lot. We spent time with them and just enjoyed being around each other. There were definitely moments of heartache and frustration, but those are overwhelmed by joyful memories.

Even with all that, it is no guarantee that your kids turn out all right. Just as there are imperfect parents, there are imperfect kids. We prayed (and still pray) regularly for our kids. That they would have a deep relationship with Christ, that they would marry godly men and that they would serve others.

Rooting Against LeBron?

I am a bitter, angry Cleveland sports fan.  You know how many of us there are.  Yes, I admit it that I was rooting for Dallas against Miami.  No, that is wrong.  I wasn’t rooting for Dallas.  Dallas has Mark Cuban, the ugh Cowboys.  I do like Dirk Nowitski but the others I don’t feel a particular allegiance for.  Truth be told, I was rooting against LeBron James.  I really wanted him to get his comeuppance.  To a large degree – he has deserved this vendetta.  To throw your home team under the bus on national T.V. in a despicable way was tough. 

But it just does not feel right to root so strongly against a person, a single person.  For years, I have been rooting against the Yankees and it doesn’t feel quite so bad.  I don’t feel particularly good that LeBron lost.  If I truly admit it, it had fleeting benefits.  It felt good for a day, but as I write this, it has kind of worn off.  It does not have nearly the lasting effect that it has if you are rooting for someone and they are successful.  That makes you feel genuinely good.  Watching LeBron take a beating was just not the same feeling.  It was kind of like when I was in school and I beat someone up (yes, I got into frequent fights in high school and college) and then you just kind of feel bad. 

Bitterness is a poison pill.  Paul says in Ephesians 4:31 to put it aside.  That verse says to put it aside, let it go.  Clevelanders love to be bitter.  I mean we hate rivals e.g. Pittsburgh.  We are really nice people, but there is something to be said for having six months of winter and sports teams that are perpetually lousy.  Bitterness goes with anger, wrath, clamor, slander, and malice in the list to put aside.  It is not healthy.  It kills love, it kills fruitfulness.  It quenches the Holy Spirit.  Ephesians 4:32 says the opposite to be kind, tender-hearted, forgiving, because God in Christ has forgiven you.  I was worse to God than LeBron was to Cleveland.  I made my own “Decision” many times to spurn God’s love.  But he loved me anyway and ultimately I came to a place where my own decision was made to follow Him. 

The real trick next year will be to see if I can progress to actually rooting for LeBron!  Maybe then I will know if fruit is truly manifest in me.

Much Wisdom–Much Pain

“Because in much wisdom, there is much grief, and increasing knowledge results in increasing pain”.  Ecclesiastes 1:18ip

Technology is a wonderful thing.  I am 51 years old.  If I had been born in the 18th century, I would have been a very old man (my kids may still consider me a very old man – it is relative).  If I lived in Sub Saharan Africa, I would still be considered an old man.  The average life expectancy in these countries still is in late thirties to early forties.  In the United States today, I can be expected to live 24 more years because the US life expectancy is 75 for a guy.  Women on the other hand get another five years.  We guys grind ourselves into the dust sooner.

Technology has also improved our way of life.  We have access at our fingerprints to so many things.  I can access the internet from wherever I am at any time.  We were talking recently how we used to carry bucketloads of CD’s on our vacation trips but now we simply plug in our iPod.  I can call my mom who lives in Peru for free using Skype and the Internet.  We can dial up entertainment that can be streamed down to our high definition T.V.  Think of all the advances we can expect to see in the next 50- 100 years. 

Yet for all this, man has not solved though his wisdom how to be satisfied and truly joyful.  In fact wisdom is FRUSTRATING.  By having wisdom, we think we can create happiness when all we can do is make pain more leisurely.  There are so many mysteries that simply cannot be solved through human wisdom.  The wiser we get, the more frustrated we become.  Solomon, the wisest person of all time could not find happiness.  You would think someone with Solomon’s wisdom would end well, but Solomon did not end well.  Ecclesiastes is his commentary of life based solely on human achievement.  Horses, women, wealth beyond all measure were Solomon’s, yet those things corrupted him. 

I have been following the NBA finals – mostly to root against the Miami Heat.  One of these two teams will be crowned the champion.  Yet, how many will remember who won the 2011 NBA finals ten years from now.  Someone once asked Duane Thomas a football player in the 1972 Super Bowl how he felt winning the “big game”.  He replied “if it is such a big game, why is there another one next year?”.  Good question! 

True Godly wisdom makes me aware of my failures.  I see myself the way God sees me as a fallen human being.  But I also see myself of being of infinite value to God that he would pay the ultimate sacrifice to have a relationship with me.  I am grieved by my sin, but overwhelmed by the love and joy I have in my relationship with my heavenly Father.  True Godly wisdom also makes me appreciate the value of personal relationships, both vertical and horizontal.  I realize that wisdom of this world is fleeting, but the wisdom that is motivated out of relationships is eternal.  That is the conclusion Solomon expresses in the book.  He concludes that the real key is to “fear God and keep His commandments: (12:13).  Then I see people the way God sees them; of deep and high personal value.  That is true wisdom.

Tressel - Little Issues, Big Problems

I lead off this blog post by saying I am still a big Jim Tressel fan.  I guess the evidence is overwhelming that he at best winked an eye to the numerous minor infractions that took place.  My personal feeling is that he got into a comfort level with minor infractions.  We all do it – going five or ten miles an hour going over the speed limit, subtly cheating on taxes, making a few extra copies on the job for personal use, maybe cutting the edge on the truth. 

A year ago, I wrote a blog on how fast you can throw away a reputation.  One mistake can be catastrophic.  As I got to thinking about the whole Tressel affair, it occurred to me that minor infractions over a period of time build up a callousness to integrity.  Little lies begat big lies.  The only way I have found to combat this is to admit right then and there whether publicly or privately before God that I have messed up.  Once you start down a slippery slope, it is hard to stop.  I have to believe it is especially hard for Tressel who probably felt pretty comfortable with who he was even thought this winking against infractions was a part of it. 

The one thing that came to mind was Achan’s sin in Joshua 7.  Achan took a few things that were under the ban set by God when Jericho was destroyed.  After being confronted by Joshua, he and all his family (emphasis mine) were condemned and stoned.  The sin was minor – he took some stuff.  The duplicity was also benign.  His family overlooked the infraction.  The penalty was an ignominious death. Seems kind of harsh to me, but God takes this sin stuff seriously.   

I feel horrible for Tressel.  This is a man revered in the Buckeye state and his reputation is forever tarnished despite the many good things he has done.  His graduation rate is double what his predecessor was.  He was the only college coach who actually taught a class.  Plus he beat Michigan 9 out of 10 times.  But all that was thrown away.  I don’t think we have heard the last from him, but it can never be the same. 

Watson and Knowledge vs. Wisdom

Debsue and I are big Jeopardy fans.  Debsue is particularly adept at getting the obscure answers right.  I have encouraged her many times to try out for Jeopardy, but she won’t do it.  On the other hand, I am only good at the sports and the bible categories.  The other week they had a category on stock symbols and I did pretty good at that as well.  Tells you where my priorities are.

A few months, ago, Jeopardy put a series of IBM computers named Watson in competition against two of the all-time human champions, Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter.  Watson cleaned their clock.  Watson could source through thousands and thousands of gigabytes of data effortlessly to piece together the answer.  There has been all sorts of speculation about how Watson can be used practically.  Technology is a marvelous thing.  I remember often my dad would see me working on my computer and challenge me to a math contest pitting his brain against my Excel program.  Finally, my dad succumbed and at now is a computer user.  Now he doesn’t use the computer for a whole lot, but he does use it. 

Computers assemble data and turn the data into information.  Thus, computers become a vast source of knowledge to us.  I can’t imagine being without my iPhone.  It is such a versatile device and I am always only a few touches from some piece of information.  Need to find something on the web?  Am I lost and need to get somewhere?  Want to play a song?  Want to access my e-mail?  It is all there in one device.  It is an amazing piece of technology and I love it.

But where computers can never go is how God has wired us.  God says to seek wisdom and the kind of wisdom God tells us to seek is only available from him (Proverbs 2:6).  Knowledge tells us that a man is 6 feet tall, wisdom tells us he is a man to be trusted.  Knowledge tells us factually about the wonder of the human body.  Wisdom tells is it is a living breathing organism that represents the church.  Knowledge tells us about four distinct seasons.  Wisdom tells us it is a representation of living, dying, and rebirth. 

Solomon has told us the true wisdom starts with a fear of the Lord.  We cannot get wisdom from knowledge.   We can only get it through asking for it, seeking it, living for it.  We can’t ask for wisdom flippantly.  It must drive us and be our all consuming desire.  It does not come naturally, it can only come supernaturally.  Wisdom takes the facts and data that our brain processes and turns it into meaning. 

Proverbs 2:10 says “For wisdom will enter your heart and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul”.  Watson spits out knowledge into answers.  But this proverb flips it.  It is wisdom that must come first.  Wisdom is internalized and it results in knowledge that is trustworthy.  Head knowledge can never result in heart knowledge.