A Father’s Reflection

Fathers, do not exasperate your children but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.  Ephesians 6:4

Debsue and I have three daughters. They are all adults ranging from 24 to 20.  Ashley, age 24 is in New York City and is a cartoonist by background and is also working as an assistant for a woman that buys and sells high end merchandise on eBay. Meghan, 23 is a sales assistant for a publishing company.  Her background is in international relations and has worked for several non-profits. Josh, our son-in-law is a graphic designer who grew up as in Pakistan as part of a multi-generational family. Josh and Meghan both work for the same company. Bethany, our baby is 20 and is going into her junior year at Wheaton College. She is a  math major with secondary education minor.

We are very proud of our daughters and son-in-law. As Debsue and I spent the day and conversed with each of them, it is just such a matter of joy that they are now living their lives and following the path that God has laid out before them. They are following the journey of life. These days are tough for this generation. The economy is tough. Jobs are tough to come by. It is a culture rampant with sinful conduct. It is a culture that has effectively relegated God to the back burner. It is not that this country is anti-God, it is that God is marginalized and compartmentalized.  For your kids to turn out well in the face of such opposition is a real joy.

As a parent, I am more aware that I have the potential to screw it up more than to help my kids. Most of parenting is knowing when to intervene and when to let go. The best thing we could do for our kids was to be committed to a relationship with Jesus Christ and to make that the center of the family. The second thing we could do was to be committed to each other as husband and wife. The third thing was to love them unconditionally – to model the kind of love God had for us. And we do love our kids unconditionally. There is nothing they could say or do that would make us change that. In our house, what I remember most about our times with our kids was that we laughed a lot. We spent time with them and just enjoyed being around each other. There were definitely moments of heartache and frustration, but those are overwhelmed by joyful memories.

Even with all that, it is no guarantee that your kids turn out all right. Just as there are imperfect parents, there are imperfect kids. We prayed (and still pray) regularly for our kids. That they would have a deep relationship with Christ, that they would marry godly men and that they would serve others.