The Covenant of Marriage

There has been an unusual number of weddings this summer. We personally will have six of them and then Deb as a marriage coordinator I think has something like nine. We went to a wonderful one yesterday with a couple that we mentored. As marital mentors, we go through 6-8 fairly intensive weeks of material. We are very frank with them. Marriage isn't a bed of roses and there are struggles. Our first ten years of marriage were brutal. We had all sorts of baggage. Well, why didn't we pack it in (pun intended)? It was because of the marriage covenant.

We sign all sorts of contracts in life. I have a lease sitting on my desk that requires a notary public. I have to find someone who is trained to observe and signature and attest to the same. The wedding ceremony is a ratification before witnesses of a contract. Well, why does it matter? Lots of people say well if we love each other and are committed to each other, isn't that good enough? Short answer - no! A contractual covenant is still vital because it says before God and witnesses that we are fully committed to it. It more than matters - it is essential.

What preserved our marriage was a commitment to the contractual covenant. And a strange thing happened over time. God knit our hearts together. Things that were obstacles for the bad became differences for the good. The things about Deb that annoyed me (why can't she be more like me?), now I can celebrate with full earnestness.

There is a term for covenant love. It is the word "agape" which is the love of Christ for His church. It is unconditional love. Most business contracts are bi-lateral which means both sides have to deliver their bill of the goods. Some people see that as the 50-50 marriage. But the marriage contract is unilateral. It requires nothing of the other person. I have to love that person regardless of what that person does. Again God does the work because if both are committed to agape love, you get not the 50-50 marriage but the 300% marriage which is 1+1=3.

Welcome Michael and Shelley to this wonderful covenant!  May God truly bless your new union.