Destructive Anger

Those of us that are diehard Cleveland sports fans and especially Browns fans know firsthand the experience of anger. This year, it is likely that the Browns will end up with one of their worst records since they entered back into the league. There have been many Sundays where I would watch and just get myself worked up and then question why I would waste a Sunday just making myself angry. But the worst was the Monday night game, the "Kick-6" game where the Browns blew the field goal and the Ravens ran it back for a touchdown. I was watching in bed with Deb sound asleep. I jumped off the bed in a fit of anger and muttered a slew of expletives that would make even some of you blush. Deb said it was quite a show.

There are two types of anger that are talked about in the bible. The first is righteous anger which is looking at things from God's perspective. This has to do with seeing the sin in the world or violations of the moral law. That should make us angry. The other type of anger is directed towards frustrating circumstances or with people who are frustrating us. This is not a biblical type of anger. It is an insidious anger that actually harms the harbinger of the anger. It destroys the person from the inside-out.

But yet so many embrace this type of anger. We have a friend who bears a deep-seated resentment towards a deceased member of the family and will not let it go. I heard from my step-father a story of someone who he had not seen in 40 years who told him that he resented him for getting awarded a prize 40 years earlier that he thought he deserved. My step-father had no knowledge of the apparent slight but the other man obviously did for 40 years and it did nothing but harm himself. This type of anger is destructive. James says that the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. On the contrary, we are to quickly make it right and forgive the offending party. James again says - Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. 

Isn't it interesting that the remedy for anger is to be quick to hear and slow to speak. Hearing the other person often defuses the anger. Steven Covey wrote a book as a followup to the 7 Habits called the "8th Habit" which is mostly about finding what he calls the "Third Alternative". In that book, the "talking stick" is a tool to force someone to listen because whoever holds the talking stick knows he will not be interrupted. I have used that from time to time to force conflict resolution in the form of hearing. I am inspired heading into 2016 to be a man of hearing, patience and forgiveness.  It is definitely in my self-interest.

May God bless your family this Christmas and holiday season. See you in 2016.

What is Fellowship?

In Acts 2:42 says that the early church as continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.  In this single verse we know the recipe for growing together in Christ. The word that people tend to misunderstand is the word fellowship.

Fellowship is the word koinonia and it literally means partnership or sharing. Someone in fellowship has a duty to stimulate or build up his partner. It has a uniquely spiritual context in its usage in the scriptures. An end goal of any fellowship in this biblical model is drawing nearer to them and to Christ. I say this because fellowship can be used almost entirely socially. It is not that socializing is bad, but fellowship goes well beyond socializing.

Last night, we were with a gathering of believers at our good friends home. It was their annual "Happy Birthday Jesus" party and that was a great example of fellowship. It is a time of seeing old friends, sharing our lives, and singing praises to God. You don't come away from that time without a sense of feeling renewed spiritually. Deb and I are so blessed to have friends that we have shared life with and have borne each others burdens with. But those friends are not just friends - they stimulate us to closer relationship with God.

 
Isn't it amazing that God did not choose for us to walk through life on an island? He puts people in our path that we are to live life together. I have to admit that over the course of my thirties and even into my forties that I did not appreciate those relationships as I do now in my fifties. We desperately need those bonds to grow in relationship with the Lord.

Really Good or Really Bad

This time of year is a conundrum to me. People can be so good. For example, we have this tradition in our church called "You've Been Gifted" where we blanket the area with what we call random acts of kindness. There are stories galore of people that have been touched by this. Then we have just the sheer joy of being with friends and family this time of year. I just came from a brunch with about 16 or our closest friends that we have every year.

At the same time, people are really stressed and just seem to act in the most negative way. Debsue and I were commenting how we almost fear going out this time of year. Stress and depression reign. Today in the church parking lot before the service, I was almost side-swiped by someone so "holy" people are not immune.

But as I was thinking about this, the conundrum is that there is a very fine line in the sin-stained world between the potential for good and the potential for evil. I once was told that the difference between scalding hot water and soothing warm water is only a few degrees. Thus is how it is for human beings tainted by sin. We have the potential to so impact our society in a positive way and yet the potential to be so harmful.

Paul wrestled with this seeming inward fight going on within each of us that is a daily fight. He says in Romans 7 - "I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against he law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members."  But then Paul gives us the answer in v.25 - Thanks be to God through our Jesus Christ our Lord.

In this time of year where we see the dichotomy of sin and grace in its most polar way, let us thank the celebrated Lord Jesus Christ who broke down the power of sin to show us holiness in the fullest.