The 2:00 AM Friend

A 2:00 AM friend is someone you can call at anytime of the day or night and tell them anything. I first heard this term from Pat Morley at Man in the Mirror ministry.  Guys in particular are notorious for not having friends that we can be completely transparent with. When I was younger, I was always on my guard and very hesitant to open up my "broom closet" to anyone else. As I have gotten older, I have appreciated being honest and open with friends. It is vital that guys have close friends that are guys. While I am extremely open with my wife, there are certain things that only guys can relate to. I am sure the same thing applies to women.

One of my friends is a police officer and we were studying this particular topic. He has another similar category called the "DUI friend". He said when he is booking someone on a DUI charge, they have to have someone come to the police station to pick them up. He has seen people get out their phone and literally scroll through hundreds of names before saying they have no one they can call.  Who is your DUI friend? Do you have one? Who can you call and say I am in trouble due to my own stupidity.

Jesus Christ had twelve disciples but he had three 2 AM friends, Peter, James, and John. Keep in mind this is Jesus in His humanity. As God, He is fully present and with all who have faith in Him. But as a man, He maintained a close knit circle. They were with Him on the Mount of Transfiguration. They were with Him in the Garden of Gethsemane. Yet as friends, they failed Him at times. They fell asleep in the garden for example as Jesus bore His soul before the Father.

We just finished a retreat with couples that we have spent the better part of the past twenty years of life with. We laughed together, we worshiped together, we prayed together, we played stupid games together. All part of life. Many of those men, I would not hesitate to call at 2:00 AM. God has not wired us to be alone. We need community.

My Fake Friend

Around Christmas time, I received the following envelope.

Looks like a Christmas Card like the others we receive around the holidays. But I don't know a Chris Thomas in El Segundo, CA. so of course I opened it. And inside is this advertisement for Direct T.V.

I had been duped. As Ralphie would say in A Christmas Story, "A Crummy Commercial". Someone pretended to know me so they could get what they wanted from me. Isn't that terrible? Did not incline me to buy Direct TV at all.

Then the Holy Spirit prompted me in gentle, but firm words "but you do that to people to". I act in a way that is not much different than that envelope scam. As a businessman, I try to get people to do things for me and I can pretend to be interested in them or generate false compliments. In other words, I am not authentic. In the Greek language of the NT, the word hypocrite translated to an actor, someone who is false and fake. Jesus said do not be like the hypocrites, an actor.

Be authentic. Do things for people without expectation of return. Don't manipulate people. Don't be a hypocrite. That is what God requires of me and you.

Forty Years of Friendship

My in-laws posted this picture at their annual lobster fest.  They host this annual feast at their cottage in Northwest Indiana.  They have been friends with this group for forty years.  Through thick and thin.  Hard to get my head around that long a time.  In our transient culture, developing longstanding deep relationships is tough.  We are now in the sound bite generation.  Yet “social media” has reopened a number of relationships.  I have reconnected with my former Valparaiso fraternity big brother after many years through Facebook.  I have also reconnected with old family friends from our growing up years.

Relationships mean a lot to God.  God has wired us for this type of deep, personal relationships.  We have a group that we get together with for fellowship and bible study that we have known for nearly twenty years.  We know there is no burden that we can’t share.  The ladies get together for breakfast once a month and share each other burdens.  We know we don’t have to impress them.  They accept us as we are. 

Then there is my CLC group which has been meeting faithfully every week (14 of us men) for over a year and a half.  I love those guys.  We have ages ranging from mid 20’s to early 80’s.  When I was in my twenties and thirties, relationships really didn’t matter much to me (except immediate family relationships).  But friendships really matter to me now that I am in my mid fifties.  My kids are out of the house and while I have a great marital relationship, the extension of good friends is so important. 

Each of us has to have those kinds of friendships.  Friends that you can be truly transparent with.  Friends to bear burdens with.  We can’t be all that God intended for us to be without friends like that.