Decluttering - Houses and Memories

These last two weeks have been just draining.  We married off a daughter on Friday, the 9th.  Then we spent the better part of last week packing up our house and moving to Brecksville.  Finally today we handed off the keys to the new owner of the Aurora house. 

The wedding was just incredibly joyful.  It was a sunny day which was quite a blessing considering it rained all week.  Here is a picture of me walking my baby girl down the aisle (I feel like singing Butterfly Kisses, but my kids don't like the song) and about to hand her to her new husband.  You can also see all of the Quigg girls in the second photo (The Three Little Quiggs as they were called in elementary school). 

 

Going back to the house bit, we had all of our girls at the house one final time.  We did see Bethany in here wedding dress come down the stairs.  She got ready in her old room.  All of the kids were here and it was a zoo.  But a fitting end to this chapter of our lives.

As the girls parted the house, I asked them to say their final goodbyes to our house in Aurora.  All of them shared that while they cherish the memories in that house, there was no special attachment to the physical dwelling.  Ashley decided she would take one final walk through the deep woods in the back, but the mosquitoes overrode her sense of nostalgia.  No crying, no regrets.  Chapter over, next chapter.  For them, they had already started their next chapter long before.  This stopped being their home long ago.  So maybe I was thinking too much attachment to the house.  All three girls are renting now so maybe a sense of ownership of a home isn't there anyway.  It is just a roof over our head.

So often we associate memories with physical things like a house.  We think it is the object when it is the moment, the relationship, the event.  We get together and we say "remember when".  Houses and objects can be preserved as memory bearers.  I remember how upset I was when in college my parents sold our house.  How could they?  But yet, I still remember those childhood places and they are permanently etched in my brain while I have physical life.  I still drive by our old house in Chagrin Falls where we lived for three years.  I remember catching salamanders in the woods behind the house.  I remember the farm next to Gurney elementary school.  I remember going to the corner gas station with my dime and getting a coke (yes, I am that old).  That house has long been gone, but the memories remain.  My brother when visiting for the wedding took a nostalgia trip to our childhood homes. 

We will greatly miss our house in Aurora and we loved living there for 13 years, but we were prepared to move on.  We didn't cling to staying there when we easily could have.  I found today that it was not nearly as tough for me to leave the house that we raised our kids in and we lived so long in. We took one final walk of the neighborhood we loved so much but with no regret.  I think we reached a great demarcation point to move on.  And move on, we did.  We will however always cling to the memories which never go away.  But the physical house now belongs to someone else and Debsue and I are really good with that.

One final note - the house was sold to a family with four young kids.  We took special joy in the fact that this house will now become a home for another young family. 

So we are preparing for new memories.  This home is our next launching off point until God tarries us elsewhere.  

De-cluttering - Part 1

These next two weeks are going to be really instrumental for Debsue and I.  We are marrying off a daughter on Friday and then moving the following week.  In one sense, it marks the end of an era.  Our kids are not not going to be living with us again (at least not likely) and they are off living their own lives.  It is time to make a change.  It will be such a kick to have all three girls home for the final time and I get choked up thinking that it will be the last time.  We get to see Bethany coming down the steps in her wedding dress in the home that she grew up in.  Then the next week (no time for real reflection), we move to our new home in Brecksville.

Brecksville marks a real change for us.  We are going from a large home to a much smaller cluster home.  We are going from nearly six acres to exactly one foot.  That's right, we only own the land under the house and one foot of land around the perimeter.  But it is within walking distance of downtown Brecksville, the Metro Parks, the library, and the community center.  We could have just taken a mini-version of what we have now, but we chose a more radical change; a lifestyle change. 

You see, we both want to de-clutter our lives.  We are finding ourselves giving things away and feeling liberated in the process.  We decided that there was just no room for a piano, but we knew some friends who were looking for a piano for their small children and couldn't afford a new one.  We gave away a whole bunch of stuff to charity.  It truly is freeing to be lighter and more nimble.  We still have a long way to go, but we are finding our lives going in the direction of simpler.  Are you going in the direction of simpler?  As Americans, we seem to live for complicated. 

Are you married to your possessions?  Jesus said to the rich young ruler to "go and sell all your possessions and come follow me".  Jesus knew this was the problem for the man.  He even asks him if he "wishes to be complete" he must do this.  Is Jesus saying we can't have possessions?  Of course not.  Wealthy women financed his ministry.  He was buried in a rich man's tomb.  And Mark had the upper room where he spent his last days.  But we can't be married to our possessions or they will possess us. 

We started our de-cluttering several years ago and I would estimate it will take a number of more years to get further.  But the quality of our lives and our relationships thus far is vastly improved.  I feel closer to the God who redeemed me and to the wife of my 28 years.  We look forward to this next phase of our lives as God readies us for wherever He leads us.  We pray that we will be light enough on our feet to be ready for this next mission. 

Are Chocolate and Faith Bumper Stickers?

If you drive around Cleveland long enough, you will see this symbol on the rear windshield or as bumper stickers.

 

I have to admit for a number of years, I wondered what this was.  It may have been intuitively obvious to many that it is the symbol for chocolate from Malley's chocolates.  And that is kind of what I thought it was, but then who would put a symbol for chocolate on their car?  It was not like a prestigious university or a son or daughter with excellent grades.  This is a conscious association with chocolate.  Now I love chocolate, but I am not sure I would say I love it enough to adorn my newly minted Prius with this affection.  The love apparently some people have for chocolate is worthy of a bumper sticker.  And it is not just a few, but many.  I see them everywhere.

What are people trying to say by this external adornment of an internal affection.  Are they saying "I love chocolate and I want you to love it too" or "there is no other dessert other than chocolate and you are an idiot if you say so".  The sticker leaves much to the imagination.  Chocolate is great, but what does it do for me?  The sticker leaves me hanging.  Sorry you Malley's chocolate lovers!

Sometimes I think my faith is like the CHOC bumper sticker.  I think people that know me generally know I love Jesus Christ but so what?  Or maybe I am just "religious".  What does that mean?  What difference does it make?  And this is where a lived life and a proclaimed life is what is necessary.  Am I living the lived life and am I proclaiming that it is the gospel that makes the difference?  In other words, there is a story behind the symbol that must be told.  In a world where the gospel story is the message for a world that needs to hear it (Jesus died for me, a sinner so that I can have life through and in Him), am I the bumper sticker that says nothing?  Help me to be diligent to present myself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed and handles accurately the eternal word of truth.

Friends, Family, and Freedom

Independence Day is one of my favorite holidays.  There are lots of things that make it special.  One is it is a warm weather holiday and I love warm weather.  Secondly, it is full of family and friend get-togethers.  One of our favorite recent traditions (Debsue and I) is to attend Blossom and the inaugural Cleveland Orchestra season debut.  This year was no exception as we attended on Wednesday night.  Third and most importantly, it reminds us of the freedom we have in this country.  There are many places in this world where they do not have the freedom that we have in the USA (how would you like to be in Egypt now as they wrestle with those freedoms?).  Freedom that many men and women died for.  We need a day like Independence Day to remind us of this.  So it is not just a day off, but one to remind us of the sacrifice of freedom.  I took this video at Blossom to encompass what is best about this day. 

Known as a Dad

He was a very accomplished individual. A partner with a private equity firm, former CEO of a public company, and a CPA. He was very active in multiple boards and was on the Board of Regents of Pepperdine University. Yet I just knew Mark Kirk as Allie Kirk's dad and he was a good one at that. My daughter Bethany and Allie are close friends having gone to school together at Cuyahoga Valley Christian Academy. Mark passed into the presence of the Father this past week. It is fitting that the memorial service is on Father's Day because that was really Mark's major accomplishment. As a business guy, I want to be successful and make my mark in the world. However, that pales by comparison to my primary role on this earth as husband and father.

I remember going to pick up Bethany at the Kirk house (usually after some sleepover) and seeing how Mark interacted with his kids. By every account, he was a great father. I also have an image of passing Mark and his wife Robin on my way to work simply holding hands while walking in Hudson. It is interesting that while I did not know Mark very well, I knew him well enough; yet did not realize how accomplished he really was until reading his obituary. I knew him simply as Allie's Dad. But then that really is the highest calling.

The other thing I knew about Mark Kirk was that he had a relationship with Jesus Christ. That, he openly stated and that he lived. So it is comforting to know that he has passed out of this life but is in the presence of his Lord and Saviour. He had a relationship with his "Abba Father", the intimate word the Scriptures use for Daddy. On Father's Day we celebrate that he is united with his Daddy. Dad is the ultimate accomplishment.

Posted with Blogsy

Leadership Cleveland Class of 2013

I must admit that I was initially very intimidated.  I was accepted into the Leadership Cleveland Class of 2013 a year ago.  What I knew about LC was that it was a great experience and lifelong relationships were formed.  Once I found out who was in this year's class, I was even more intimidated.  Executive of Cleveland City Schools, Executive Director of United Way, Chief Admin Officer for Westfield Group, Chief Operating Officer at Sherwin Williams were some of the people in this year's class.  What I found out is that they intentionally put a variety of people from different areas such as corporate, non-profits, education, government, and small business (e.g. me).  There were 69 of us and we were the 35th class for LC. 

They put us together for a retreat right away in August and that broke the ice very quickly.   You get to know people pretty quickly when you are on their team for tug-of-war.  We were the Green Team.  Each month then we would have sessions focusing on a particular theme.  For example, Education, Quality of Life, and Economic Development.  I learned a lot about our city.  Yes, it has issues, but it is truly a great city and there is a lot going on right now.  I am also particularly proud that our classmate, Eric Gordon is leading a renaissance for Cleveland Schools.  Eric is a humble guy who has a passion for these kids.

Our end of year retreat was a visit to Nashville.  We learned about an up and coming city, but I think it also made us realize that we have similar assets here in Cleveland.  I am particularly proud to live in this great city and region.  But I think that the best part of Leadership Cleveland was the friendships that I built, friendships that will extend well beyond our class year.  Our class has adopted a mission of lakefront development and revitalization of the downtown corridor.  We also will continue to support the plan for Cleveland schools.

P.S. The picture above was by Hidden Moments (wife Debbie's photo biz).

Broken Spokes

Yesterday, I took my bike into the bike store. I had two broken spokes on the rear wheel. The young man who was obviously much more knowledgeable on bikes than I am asked me how long I had been riding on the broken spokes. I said "much of last year on the one and a few weeks on the second one". He kind of grimaced and said "Oh, that is not good". I asked him why. He said that when a spoke goes, the rest of the wheel takes the added pressure of the damaged spoke so that you could very much damage the wheel if you continue to ride the bike. Point taken, my damaged spoke was inflicting stress on the rest of the wheel and now the potential damage is much greater.

How much my broken spoke reminds me of the effect my sin has. My sin may seem like just a little broken spoke, but it has the potential to damage me, my relationship with God, my relationship with my wife, my co-workers, etc. Yes, we all sin, but the cavalier attitude we have towards sin is like my cavalier attitude towards my broken spoke. I did put duct tape on the spoke after all. We need to take a hard-line towards sin and deal with it right away as I should have done with my broken spokes. If we don't, we have the potential to inflict damage to the wheel.

 

Posted with Blogsy