Destructive Anger

Those of us that are diehard Cleveland sports fans and especially Browns fans know firsthand the experience of anger. This year, it is likely that the Browns will end up with one of their worst records since they entered back into the league. There have been many Sundays where I would watch and just get myself worked up and then question why I would waste a Sunday just making myself angry. But the worst was the Monday night game, the "Kick-6" game where the Browns blew the field goal and the Ravens ran it back for a touchdown. I was watching in bed with Deb sound asleep. I jumped off the bed in a fit of anger and muttered a slew of expletives that would make even some of you blush. Deb said it was quite a show.

There are two types of anger that are talked about in the bible. The first is righteous anger which is looking at things from God's perspective. This has to do with seeing the sin in the world or violations of the moral law. That should make us angry. The other type of anger is directed towards frustrating circumstances or with people who are frustrating us. This is not a biblical type of anger. It is an insidious anger that actually harms the harbinger of the anger. It destroys the person from the inside-out.

But yet so many embrace this type of anger. We have a friend who bears a deep-seated resentment towards a deceased member of the family and will not let it go. I heard from my step-father a story of someone who he had not seen in 40 years who told him that he resented him for getting awarded a prize 40 years earlier that he thought he deserved. My step-father had no knowledge of the apparent slight but the other man obviously did for 40 years and it did nothing but harm himself. This type of anger is destructive. James says that the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. On the contrary, we are to quickly make it right and forgive the offending party. James again says - Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. 

Isn't it interesting that the remedy for anger is to be quick to hear and slow to speak. Hearing the other person often defuses the anger. Steven Covey wrote a book as a followup to the 7 Habits called the "8th Habit" which is mostly about finding what he calls the "Third Alternative". In that book, the "talking stick" is a tool to force someone to listen because whoever holds the talking stick knows he will not be interrupted. I have used that from time to time to force conflict resolution in the form of hearing. I am inspired heading into 2016 to be a man of hearing, patience and forgiveness.  It is definitely in my self-interest.

May God bless your family this Christmas and holiday season. See you in 2016.

What is Fellowship?

In Acts 2:42 says that the early church as continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.  In this single verse we know the recipe for growing together in Christ. The word that people tend to misunderstand is the word fellowship.

Fellowship is the word koinonia and it literally means partnership or sharing. Someone in fellowship has a duty to stimulate or build up his partner. It has a uniquely spiritual context in its usage in the scriptures. An end goal of any fellowship in this biblical model is drawing nearer to them and to Christ. I say this because fellowship can be used almost entirely socially. It is not that socializing is bad, but fellowship goes well beyond socializing.

Last night, we were with a gathering of believers at our good friends home. It was their annual "Happy Birthday Jesus" party and that was a great example of fellowship. It is a time of seeing old friends, sharing our lives, and singing praises to God. You don't come away from that time without a sense of feeling renewed spiritually. Deb and I are so blessed to have friends that we have shared life with and have borne each others burdens with. But those friends are not just friends - they stimulate us to closer relationship with God.

 
Isn't it amazing that God did not choose for us to walk through life on an island? He puts people in our path that we are to live life together. I have to admit that over the course of my thirties and even into my forties that I did not appreciate those relationships as I do now in my fifties. We desperately need those bonds to grow in relationship with the Lord.

Really Good or Really Bad

This time of year is a conundrum to me. People can be so good. For example, we have this tradition in our church called "You've Been Gifted" where we blanket the area with what we call random acts of kindness. There are stories galore of people that have been touched by this. Then we have just the sheer joy of being with friends and family this time of year. I just came from a brunch with about 16 or our closest friends that we have every year.

At the same time, people are really stressed and just seem to act in the most negative way. Debsue and I were commenting how we almost fear going out this time of year. Stress and depression reign. Today in the church parking lot before the service, I was almost side-swiped by someone so "holy" people are not immune.

But as I was thinking about this, the conundrum is that there is a very fine line in the sin-stained world between the potential for good and the potential for evil. I once was told that the difference between scalding hot water and soothing warm water is only a few degrees. Thus is how it is for human beings tainted by sin. We have the potential to so impact our society in a positive way and yet the potential to be so harmful.

Paul wrestled with this seeming inward fight going on within each of us that is a daily fight. He says in Romans 7 - "I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against he law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members."  But then Paul gives us the answer in v.25 - Thanks be to God through our Jesus Christ our Lord.

In this time of year where we see the dichotomy of sin and grace in its most polar way, let us thank the celebrated Lord Jesus Christ who broke down the power of sin to show us holiness in the fullest.

What Makes Thanksgiving thanksgiving?

The house was completely full. All eight of us - three daughters and their spouses or significant others for four days with the last of them having left just a few hours ago. It was the first time that our house in Brecksville has been completely full since we moved here a little over two years ago. Many people have repeated that scenario this Thanksgiving.

What makes Thanksgiving, thanksgiving? Is it circumstances? Or is it treasured relationships? I really believe it is the latter. There is no doubt that we should be thankful for things like health, peace, possessions. But those things are fleeting. I relished in the treasure of family and my relationship with my daughters and extended family. There were a number of times where I just sat there and took in just being together. We ate together, laughed together, recreated together, talked together, and entertained together. There were times when we separated during the four days (people do need a break from people every so often). There were times also where I am sure we got on each others nerves. People do that.

But the prevailing attitude is thanksgiving. Being thankful is a choice. I can choose to be thankful or I can choose to be not thankful. There are many hidden choices in attitudes of the heart. Consider the words of Paul - "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil... addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ". (Ephesians 5:15-16, 18-21)

The book of Acts recorded the attitude of the people when it says "And day by day attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people." (Acts 2:46-47)

Glad and generous hearts kind of sums it up. My heart is full (along with my belly).

Trusting the Camera

A few weeks ago, Deb and I were in Florida to visit her mom and for me to play in a baseball tournament (for those of us who can't give up the game). We rented a car and this one had a backup camera; like most cars these days it is standard equipment. Since I don't have a backup camera, my routine is to twist my back completely around and look behind me while backing up. Sometimes on occasion I will use my side mirrors to help navigate me while backing up, but that is rare.

Even with the backup camera in the rental car, I routinely would still twist my body around. Initially that was because I didn't realize the camera was there quite yet. But later in the week, I did realize that the camera was there but I hadn't learned to trust it completely yet. Kind of like when my dad asked me "does that lady really know where you are going?" referring to the GPS. The camera was proven technology (or at least I think it was), but I still relied on my imperfect vision with its accompany blind spots to look behind me. The camera could see easily what I could not, but I could not trust it.

Spiritually, I have a heavenly Father that knows me intimately and has perfect vision to see my life in its panorama and its complete perspective. He is proven technology that is reliable. Yet my first inclination is to; a) not trust it, and b) trust myself more. I have many blind spots that God knows and sees and he can see perfectly clear if I am about to backup over something. The backup camera might provide an audible warning if danger is approaching. God provides the Holy Spirit who provides these little "consciousness pricks" that distinctly warn me that I am approaching problem areas.

I have to be careful that I don't run roughshod ahead and do things anyway. Most of us pray that God will bless our efforts but that is completely wrong. I pray that God will articulate the path He wants me to go and that I will not go down the path that He doesn't want me to go. I have many times in my life ignored the warnings and gone anyway.

"Lord close the door to false paths and illuminate the path you want me to go. Help me to trust you as the perfect backup camera to my life and not my own ways."

All Lives Matter

This week brought the horrific news that 129 (as of now) people lost their lives in the Paris attacks. This same week, we had the demonstrations and strikes at University of Missouri. Both brought front page news in this country and so it should.

Back on April 2, 147 people were killed in an attack at a college in Kenya and got scant news. The gunman targeted specifically Christians and systematically gunned them down. Not anywhere near the amount of outrage here. See this interesting comparison of the press. I find it interesting that there is a whole Black Lives Matter movement, but apparently not African black lives.

I have had the privilege of going to Rwanda twice and hearing the history of 1 million people massacred while the west turned a blind eye. It is still amazing to me because had the west done the bare minimum, most of those lives would have been spared. Today, we still hear little about what happens in Africa.

We just recognized at our church Persecution Sunday which we do every year. As demonstration of the systematic killing of Christians every 5 minutes a candle is blown out. This is an increase from last year where it was every 7 minutes. Christians we know in latter days will experience an increase in persecution. It is only a matter of time before it happens in America. 

I am very grateful that God puts a high premium on every life. He knows every hair on our head, He knows every breath we take. He cared enough to stand in our place in Christ in repayment of a death penalty that each of us deserves. Lives matter to God whether they are in Africa, Syria, Iraq, Iran, North Korea, or anywhere else.

Missing My Friend Max

Last week we put our dog Max down. It was heart wrenching to lose my friend of 13+ years. Max has been a reference point of mine on many blog posts. He was a unique animal. He actually had a vocabulary. Note in the video below - bath is not one of his favorite words.

He hated sports. He could not distinguish between good yelling and bad yelling. To him, it was all yelling. He could even tell a game was on (did not matter whether it was basketball, baseball, or football) by people movement on the screen even without any yelling.

Max had strong herding instincts. We believe one of his breeds was some kind of herding dog, maybe a border collie. He understood garbage or mail duty meant it was his job to make sure we got to the curb ok. He made sure there were no threats from some unforeseen source.

Max was never bothered by other dogs. He was a very social dog with a low key demeanor. When confronted by another dog, it was almost like he was saying "whatever".  His eyes seemed to go right through you to your soul.

Max was not perfect - he liked getting into the garbage and licking the floor. But as Deb says, he was self-judging. You would know immediately he had done something he was not supposed to be doing.  You almost felt bad yelling at him about it.

I really learned a lot from my dog Max. But what Max really modeled was complete unconditional love. Max was my friend regardless and he loved Deb and I (Deb was the alpha of the pack, I was just beta) completely. Death sucks as Deb says.

Will pets be in heaven? I won't be dogmatic about it, but I think so. Randy Alcorn's book "Heaven" has a chapter on this topic. It is clear there will be animals in the kingdom and there will be joy like no other. It is not at all hard to fathom that our pet friends will be there too. The Eden like existence prior to the fall pictures animals in a pure state of harmony. I believe I will be reunited with my friend and maybe even we can get the mail together.