Destructive Anger

Those of us that are diehard Cleveland sports fans and especially Browns fans know firsthand the experience of anger. This year, it is likely that the Browns will end up with one of their worst records since they entered back into the league. There have been many Sundays where I would watch and just get myself worked up and then question why I would waste a Sunday just making myself angry. But the worst was the Monday night game, the "Kick-6" game where the Browns blew the field goal and the Ravens ran it back for a touchdown. I was watching in bed with Deb sound asleep. I jumped off the bed in a fit of anger and muttered a slew of expletives that would make even some of you blush. Deb said it was quite a show.

There are two types of anger that are talked about in the bible. The first is righteous anger which is looking at things from God's perspective. This has to do with seeing the sin in the world or violations of the moral law. That should make us angry. The other type of anger is directed towards frustrating circumstances or with people who are frustrating us. This is not a biblical type of anger. It is an insidious anger that actually harms the harbinger of the anger. It destroys the person from the inside-out.

But yet so many embrace this type of anger. We have a friend who bears a deep-seated resentment towards a deceased member of the family and will not let it go. I heard from my step-father a story of someone who he had not seen in 40 years who told him that he resented him for getting awarded a prize 40 years earlier that he thought he deserved. My step-father had no knowledge of the apparent slight but the other man obviously did for 40 years and it did nothing but harm himself. This type of anger is destructive. James says that the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. On the contrary, we are to quickly make it right and forgive the offending party. James again says - Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. 

Isn't it interesting that the remedy for anger is to be quick to hear and slow to speak. Hearing the other person often defuses the anger. Steven Covey wrote a book as a followup to the 7 Habits called the "8th Habit" which is mostly about finding what he calls the "Third Alternative". In that book, the "talking stick" is a tool to force someone to listen because whoever holds the talking stick knows he will not be interrupted. I have used that from time to time to force conflict resolution in the form of hearing. I am inspired heading into 2016 to be a man of hearing, patience and forgiveness.  It is definitely in my self-interest.

May God bless your family this Christmas and holiday season. See you in 2016.

What is Fellowship?

In Acts 2:42 says that the early church as continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.  In this single verse we know the recipe for growing together in Christ. The word that people tend to misunderstand is the word fellowship.

Fellowship is the word koinonia and it literally means partnership or sharing. Someone in fellowship has a duty to stimulate or build up his partner. It has a uniquely spiritual context in its usage in the scriptures. An end goal of any fellowship in this biblical model is drawing nearer to them and to Christ. I say this because fellowship can be used almost entirely socially. It is not that socializing is bad, but fellowship goes well beyond socializing.

Last night, we were with a gathering of believers at our good friends home. It was their annual "Happy Birthday Jesus" party and that was a great example of fellowship. It is a time of seeing old friends, sharing our lives, and singing praises to God. You don't come away from that time without a sense of feeling renewed spiritually. Deb and I are so blessed to have friends that we have shared life with and have borne each others burdens with. But those friends are not just friends - they stimulate us to closer relationship with God.

 
Isn't it amazing that God did not choose for us to walk through life on an island? He puts people in our path that we are to live life together. I have to admit that over the course of my thirties and even into my forties that I did not appreciate those relationships as I do now in my fifties. We desperately need those bonds to grow in relationship with the Lord.

Really Good or Really Bad

This time of year is a conundrum to me. People can be so good. For example, we have this tradition in our church called "You've Been Gifted" where we blanket the area with what we call random acts of kindness. There are stories galore of people that have been touched by this. Then we have just the sheer joy of being with friends and family this time of year. I just came from a brunch with about 16 or our closest friends that we have every year.

At the same time, people are really stressed and just seem to act in the most negative way. Debsue and I were commenting how we almost fear going out this time of year. Stress and depression reign. Today in the church parking lot before the service, I was almost side-swiped by someone so "holy" people are not immune.

But as I was thinking about this, the conundrum is that there is a very fine line in the sin-stained world between the potential for good and the potential for evil. I once was told that the difference between scalding hot water and soothing warm water is only a few degrees. Thus is how it is for human beings tainted by sin. We have the potential to so impact our society in a positive way and yet the potential to be so harmful.

Paul wrestled with this seeming inward fight going on within each of us that is a daily fight. He says in Romans 7 - "I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against he law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members."  But then Paul gives us the answer in v.25 - Thanks be to God through our Jesus Christ our Lord.

In this time of year where we see the dichotomy of sin and grace in its most polar way, let us thank the celebrated Lord Jesus Christ who broke down the power of sin to show us holiness in the fullest.

What Makes Thanksgiving thanksgiving?

The house was completely full. All eight of us - three daughters and their spouses or significant others for four days with the last of them having left just a few hours ago. It was the first time that our house in Brecksville has been completely full since we moved here a little over two years ago. Many people have repeated that scenario this Thanksgiving.

What makes Thanksgiving, thanksgiving? Is it circumstances? Or is it treasured relationships? I really believe it is the latter. There is no doubt that we should be thankful for things like health, peace, possessions. But those things are fleeting. I relished in the treasure of family and my relationship with my daughters and extended family. There were a number of times where I just sat there and took in just being together. We ate together, laughed together, recreated together, talked together, and entertained together. There were times when we separated during the four days (people do need a break from people every so often). There were times also where I am sure we got on each others nerves. People do that.

But the prevailing attitude is thanksgiving. Being thankful is a choice. I can choose to be thankful or I can choose to be not thankful. There are many hidden choices in attitudes of the heart. Consider the words of Paul - "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil... addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ". (Ephesians 5:15-16, 18-21)

The book of Acts recorded the attitude of the people when it says "And day by day attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people." (Acts 2:46-47)

Glad and generous hearts kind of sums it up. My heart is full (along with my belly).

Trusting the Camera

A few weeks ago, Deb and I were in Florida to visit her mom and for me to play in a baseball tournament (for those of us who can't give up the game). We rented a car and this one had a backup camera; like most cars these days it is standard equipment. Since I don't have a backup camera, my routine is to twist my back completely around and look behind me while backing up. Sometimes on occasion I will use my side mirrors to help navigate me while backing up, but that is rare.

Even with the backup camera in the rental car, I routinely would still twist my body around. Initially that was because I didn't realize the camera was there quite yet. But later in the week, I did realize that the camera was there but I hadn't learned to trust it completely yet. Kind of like when my dad asked me "does that lady really know where you are going?" referring to the GPS. The camera was proven technology (or at least I think it was), but I still relied on my imperfect vision with its accompany blind spots to look behind me. The camera could see easily what I could not, but I could not trust it.

Spiritually, I have a heavenly Father that knows me intimately and has perfect vision to see my life in its panorama and its complete perspective. He is proven technology that is reliable. Yet my first inclination is to; a) not trust it, and b) trust myself more. I have many blind spots that God knows and sees and he can see perfectly clear if I am about to backup over something. The backup camera might provide an audible warning if danger is approaching. God provides the Holy Spirit who provides these little "consciousness pricks" that distinctly warn me that I am approaching problem areas.

I have to be careful that I don't run roughshod ahead and do things anyway. Most of us pray that God will bless our efforts but that is completely wrong. I pray that God will articulate the path He wants me to go and that I will not go down the path that He doesn't want me to go. I have many times in my life ignored the warnings and gone anyway.

"Lord close the door to false paths and illuminate the path you want me to go. Help me to trust you as the perfect backup camera to my life and not my own ways."

All Lives Matter

This week brought the horrific news that 129 (as of now) people lost their lives in the Paris attacks. This same week, we had the demonstrations and strikes at University of Missouri. Both brought front page news in this country and so it should.

Back on April 2, 147 people were killed in an attack at a college in Kenya and got scant news. The gunman targeted specifically Christians and systematically gunned them down. Not anywhere near the amount of outrage here. See this interesting comparison of the press. I find it interesting that there is a whole Black Lives Matter movement, but apparently not African black lives.

I have had the privilege of going to Rwanda twice and hearing the history of 1 million people massacred while the west turned a blind eye. It is still amazing to me because had the west done the bare minimum, most of those lives would have been spared. Today, we still hear little about what happens in Africa.

We just recognized at our church Persecution Sunday which we do every year. As demonstration of the systematic killing of Christians every 5 minutes a candle is blown out. This is an increase from last year where it was every 7 minutes. Christians we know in latter days will experience an increase in persecution. It is only a matter of time before it happens in America. 

I am very grateful that God puts a high premium on every life. He knows every hair on our head, He knows every breath we take. He cared enough to stand in our place in Christ in repayment of a death penalty that each of us deserves. Lives matter to God whether they are in Africa, Syria, Iraq, Iran, North Korea, or anywhere else.

Missing My Friend Max

Last week we put our dog Max down. It was heart wrenching to lose my friend of 13+ years. Max has been a reference point of mine on many blog posts. He was a unique animal. He actually had a vocabulary. Note in the video below - bath is not one of his favorite words.

He hated sports. He could not distinguish between good yelling and bad yelling. To him, it was all yelling. He could even tell a game was on (did not matter whether it was basketball, baseball, or football) by people movement on the screen even without any yelling.

Max had strong herding instincts. We believe one of his breeds was some kind of herding dog, maybe a border collie. He understood garbage or mail duty meant it was his job to make sure we got to the curb ok. He made sure there were no threats from some unforeseen source.

Max was never bothered by other dogs. He was a very social dog with a low key demeanor. When confronted by another dog, it was almost like he was saying "whatever".  His eyes seemed to go right through you to your soul.

Max was not perfect - he liked getting into the garbage and licking the floor. But as Deb says, he was self-judging. You would know immediately he had done something he was not supposed to be doing.  You almost felt bad yelling at him about it.

I really learned a lot from my dog Max. But what Max really modeled was complete unconditional love. Max was my friend regardless and he loved Deb and I (Deb was the alpha of the pack, I was just beta) completely. Death sucks as Deb says.

Will pets be in heaven? I won't be dogmatic about it, but I think so. Randy Alcorn's book "Heaven" has a chapter on this topic. It is clear there will be animals in the kingdom and there will be joy like no other. It is not at all hard to fathom that our pet friends will be there too. The Eden like existence prior to the fall pictures animals in a pure state of harmony. I believe I will be reunited with my friend and maybe even we can get the mail together.

Is the Shooting Problem External or Internal?

It seems like every day we hear about murders. A few weeks ago was Umpqua Community College. Then this week, there has been the rash of shootings at Texas Southern and the shooting at Northern Arizona University. We in Cleveland have recently seen a rash of shootings involving innocent children in the cross-fire.

Everyone is wringing their hands over this and so they should. This is tragic when a human being loses their life at the hands of another human being. It is even more tragic when it is an innocent like a five month old baby in the back seat of a car. But the response has been focused on issues like gun control and better education. These are externals and externals can never solve the problem of the wicked human heart. The human heart is the source of this type of rage that results in a human taking another life.

The Bible makes this perfectly clear. Jesus never addressed the type of problem we are seeing by regulation or laws. He went straight to the problem of the human heart. For example, in the Sermon on the Mount, he says that a person who calls another person "fool" or "empty head" or in our vernacular S___head is guilty of fiery hell. James says that we lust and we do not have so we commit murder. Murder is nothing more than an outgrowth of an unsettled heart. It knots and festers in the heart and eventually it comes out. Why do we act out? Because we have a heart problem.

For example, I have a rage deep inside of me that only those closest to me have seen. It is a rage that resulted in a series of fights when I was in college. I was one of our fraternity's designated fighters when the fraternity across the street messed with us. I remember taking a guy who was taunting us and literally whaling on him in the head. Scary! While my anger has been overshadowed by God's presence inside of me, it always sits within me and without supernatural intervention, could still come out at any time.

The problem of the human heart can only be solved through the deep love we have from knowing God personally through Jesus Christ and feeling that love from our family and friends. The is transformative love that can change a person from the inside out. That is the only way to truly break this cycle of violence.

Dear Old Valpo

Just got back from being at my alma mater, Valparaiso University for a few days. I am on the National Council for the business school which meets twice a year, once being around Homecoming. This is the first year in a while that I have actually stayed for some of the Homecoming festivities. The theme was "Proud to Come Home". I think that was an excellent theme because I am truly proud to have a heritage with Valpo. While each year that passes brings separation from my years, there is still definitely a sense of community and pride I feel when I come back. It still feels like home.

I attended a building dedication. A sense of pride came upon me. Valpo has more new buildings I think in the past 34 years than old buildings. And the quality is stellar. But the cornerstone of the Valparaiso campus is the Chapel of the Resurrection, the tallest collegiate chapel in North America. It is still a testament to the fact that this university is a faith based university. I learned that Valpo was ranked number one by Washington Monthly as the best university of the county in giving to the public good. There is definitely a sense that Valpo students and faculty make a difference.

I chatted with Cornell Boggs, one of my fraternity brothers who was named one of the 100 most influential black leaders in corporate America. We long to identify with a team that is effective. 

I stopped by and watched the women's softball game. A man came up to me and started talking about the team. I immediately recognized him as Rod Moore, the head athletic trainer. I know this because Rod was the head trainer when I wrestled at Valpo from 78-80. What was even more amazing is Rod said he remembered me. Rod is one of those Dick Clark guys who never seems to look older than when you knew him. Anyway, I chatted with Rod for a while and my conversation reinforced a sense of belonging.

I walked down by a series of exhibits where my fraternity had an exhibit. I recognized a young man's face. The president of the university is the son of my former roommate who lives in the Cleveland area. The next generation is now represented on campus. Again, a sense of pride welled up within me.

As human beings we long for community. We long to be a part of something special. We long to feel that sense of pride and accomplishment. It is how we are wired. We are not to be human islands. My trek to Valpo was much more than a stroll down memory lane. It served to reinforce my longing for purpose, for community.

The Written Word is Better

When we were at this wedding a few weeks ago, included in the invitation were written directions to the reception which was about 10-15 minutes away. The reception was on CoolSprings Church Road. My opinion at the time - written directions are stupid in an age of technology.

Easy enough - rather than follow the written directions, I will use technology. I plotted it on my GPS and we merrily go on our way following the GPS lady's directions. Until we get fairly far enough out of town and Deb says - "Where are you going?" I said CoolSprings Church Road and she says something like "this doesn't look right".  I look at my GPS and I had fat-fingered CoolSprings Road as Cook Springs Church Road. Now we are in the middle of nowhere and somehow the GPS is trying to direct me to this place called Cook Springs Road which I don't think exists.

No harm, no foul. I put the correct directions in the GPS and we get back on track. Until we see a sign that tells us that we are at the intersection of CoolSprings Church Road and, uh, CoolSprings Church Road (see the picture). I guess you just don't have enough CoolSprings Church Roads in this part of Pennsylvania. Again, we ignore the written direction and turn right and at least follow the signs. Besides, two different cars ahead of us also turn right. It became quickly apparent this was wrong as we are in the middle of somebody's farm.So we go back to the intersection and notice a sign that says "Hulisz Wedding Straight Ahead 3 miles". Again, printed directions for our benefit. Finally, after numerous detours, we arrive at the reception.


This little adventure reminds me of how we neglect the written, printed word of God. I am referring to the Bible. 2 Tim. 3:16 tells us it is literally God breathed. Somehow we rationalize that it is out of date and we live in an enlightened age. Or we may tell ourselves that it isn't for this particular situation, that it doesn't apply. The written word is for our own good - not because God hates us but because God loves us. The world sends confusing signals (like our confusing sign) and we follow them like lemmings to the sea. My default mode was my own way. The GPS is better because it is cool technology and I basically tell it where to go and it sends me (I can hear the voice of my 85 year old dad telling me the GPS is not to be trusted).

The Bible is timeless in its application. Yes, it was written in a specific time and space and in a particular culture. But it is every bit as relevant to us today as it was then. And it won't steer me wrong. It shows me myself and it shows me my Savior. It shows me how to live and who to live for. It can be trusted.

The Covenant of Marriage

There has been an unusual number of weddings this summer. We personally will have six of them and then Deb as a marriage coordinator I think has something like nine. We went to a wonderful one yesterday with a couple that we mentored. As marital mentors, we go through 6-8 fairly intensive weeks of material. We are very frank with them. Marriage isn't a bed of roses and there are struggles. Our first ten years of marriage were brutal. We had all sorts of baggage. Well, why didn't we pack it in (pun intended)? It was because of the marriage covenant.

We sign all sorts of contracts in life. I have a lease sitting on my desk that requires a notary public. I have to find someone who is trained to observe and signature and attest to the same. The wedding ceremony is a ratification before witnesses of a contract. Well, why does it matter? Lots of people say well if we love each other and are committed to each other, isn't that good enough? Short answer - no! A contractual covenant is still vital because it says before God and witnesses that we are fully committed to it. It more than matters - it is essential.

What preserved our marriage was a commitment to the contractual covenant. And a strange thing happened over time. God knit our hearts together. Things that were obstacles for the bad became differences for the good. The things about Deb that annoyed me (why can't she be more like me?), now I can celebrate with full earnestness.

There is a term for covenant love. It is the word "agape" which is the love of Christ for His church. It is unconditional love. Most business contracts are bi-lateral which means both sides have to deliver their bill of the goods. Some people see that as the 50-50 marriage. But the marriage contract is unilateral. It requires nothing of the other person. I have to love that person regardless of what that person does. Again God does the work because if both are committed to agape love, you get not the 50-50 marriage but the 300% marriage which is 1+1=3.

Welcome Michael and Shelley to this wonderful covenant!  May God truly bless your new union.

I Belong To My Daddy

One of my baseball teammates has two little boys that attend many of our games. One of the first times I met one of the boys, he promptly stated "I belong to my daddy". His immediate identity was tied to that of his dad. I thought about that statement relative to my life. I want my life to reflect that I belong to my daddy and my daddy is Jesus Christ. Anything that draws attention to me in the absence of my daddy is bad but anything that draws attention to my Lord (at least in a positive way).

When we attend an Indians game, we sometimes sit up in the upper, upper deck. Mainly because we are cheap. During the game, we might yell out "C'mon Kipnis". Now where we sit, Kipnis has no more chance of hearing us than he does hearing someone stationed on the moon. Yet, why do we yell such a thing? (I am drawing a distinction between this type of yelling and general cheering which melds together with the rest of the crowd). Because we like to draw attention to ourselves. I remember being in New York City around Thanksgiving and someone was driving in a convertible with the top down blaring tunes. It was probably about 30 degrees out. Drawing attention to ourselves again.

It then is a far distance to go from purposeful behavior to draw attention to ourselves to draw attention to my heavenly father. I pray about it every day, but man is it hard. Am I living in a way that draws attention away from myself and towards my heavenly father? Because I belong to my daddy.

Thoughts on Jared Fogle

I am not totally shocked by anything I hear when it comes to sexual deviancy. Why would Jared Fogle, the everyday middle American male who challenged us to lose weight while eating well, be any different. I think this area of sexual perversion has just touched the tip of the iceberg.

1. The line between what is now viewed as acceptable and even normative is increasingly moving towards higher and higher levels of sexual deviancy. The line between sexual norms and sexual misconduct are blurry.
2. A man down the path of sexual perversion can progress further and further down the line without any thought of where to draw it.
3. Surround sexual desire with a newfound sense of power and you have a witches brew waiting to happen. Apparently Mr. Fogle did not think twice to tell others of his obsession.

Our society and culture bring images to our life that are available 24x7. Movies like Fifty Shades of Grey are popularized in the mainstream. Whenever we gaze at images, we imprint them on our brain and they stay there. Then it moves to acting it out. James wrote 2,000 years ago about the progression of sin and in particular sexual sins. "But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lusts. And when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin has accomplished, it brings forth death.  Do not be deceived my beloved brethren" (James 1:14-16).  

Outrage is the response of many of us and as it should be. Sexual perversion of this kind is indeed shocking. But when we look at the grand scheme, we should not be surprised in any way.  

Empathetic Prayer

It is every traveler's nightmare. You see a baby/toddler getting on the plane. You hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Sure enough, barely up in the air and the baby starts screaming. I am not talking about light screaming either. I am talking about gasps of air of silence to get the full effect and then blood curdling screaming.  You know what I am talking about. Thankfully it was a short flight (Boston to Cleveland), but the baby was screaming virtually the entire flight.

Initially, I put my head phones on trying to tune it out. But this was so loud that it could not drown it out. Then I went through a phase where I thought "what is wrong with these parents - can't they calm that kid down?".  How quickly I forget as the parent of three children that the best of us can be completely helpless when this type of screaming starts. Then I turned to my young co-worker and asked him if he was sure he wanted children.

Then something amazing happened. The Holy Spirit said to me as clear as a bell - "Why don't you pray for that family?". This may have seemed like a trivial thing to pray for. Doesn't God have bigger crises to deal with than this screaming baby on a closed fuselage somewhere over the northeast?  Apparently not. I call this empathetic praying - supplication that happens in everyday circumstances. So I prayed and prayed hard - like it was a life or death matter. I asked God to calm this child and give her parents a break (the rest of us needed the break too so it wasn't totally selfless). I prayed hard - kid still screaming. I prayed again. The child stopped abruptly. Now I am not saying that my prayer had anything to do with it. That is the mystery of prayer. God is completely in control but He wants us to pray as if it depends on us. We get to enjoy participating in this mystery of life in the seen world.

I learned something from this as well. I have asked God to show me people from His lens. Empathetic praying - being aware of others. A friend asks for prayer - I shouldn't slough it off. I pass an accident on the road already being taken care of. It looks bad but God says pray for that family. I sat next to a girl on another flight on her way to her fiancee's funeral who was tragically killed in a car accident. She is carrying his child.

This is something that can be learned and developed as the Christian man matures. I am nowhere near where I would believe God wants me, but I am thankful He has showed me my warts and turned it into the practice of empathy.

Plugging Into Life Giving Light

We have had a ton of rain so far this summer. For a guy who is sun starved like me, this is a major issue. I have seasonal affective disorder that hits really hard from November through April. I take 10,000 units of Vitamin D to counter this malady. Normally I go off Vitamin D from late April through October, but with all of the gloom in June I almost went back on it. So it has been so nice to actually have days of straight sunshine for the past week. I took a break while riding my bike to just soak in the sunshine that my body really craved.

It is not surprising that one of the I AM statements that Jesus used is the light of the world. He said "He who follows me will not walk in the darkness but will have the Light of life" (John 8:12). I don't think the light of life was referring to man-made fluorescent light which didn't exist at the time of Christ, but of the natural rays of the sun. It gives life-giving sustenance. Just as the body craves it, so the natural person craves the spiritual light and absence it, we seek substitutes.

I just finished a documentary on Antarctica. Four months of the year, there is virtually no light. The 700 people each year who "winter" in Antarctica are a special kind of people. But the sun skirts around the horizon in August and the wintering inhabitants literally soak it in for its brief period. I find if I am absence from the light of Christ too long, I become moody and depressed just like how I feel in the long winters. I desperately need that life giving light to counter the darkness of my soul.
 

Thoughts On My Friend George

George Cull was ushered into the presence of the Lord Jesus last Monday night. George was 84 and had a number of physical issues related to his heart primarily so this was not a surprise. In fact George had a defibrillator that would shock his heart every time that his heart would stop. There were several times where George actually died and was shocked back to life.

I spent two years with George most every week as part of our CLC group. George was our elder statesman. In fact, the age range of our CLC was part of its dynamic. We had men in their twenties on up to George. There were many things that made George unique. First, George came to know Christ late in life - around 71. That is so unusual and it goes to show that it is never too late. Secondly, George was a man of compassion in service. George had a heart especially for those who gave their life in martyrdom for the cause of Christ. George reminded us not to forget those through his service with Voice of the Martyrs. George was always available to counsel those who were struggling. George and Sandy made their beautiful home (and pool) available as a tool of ministry. I remember vividly George leading our CLC group on the subject of servant leadership. George demonstrated by foot washing. I had never seen this physically illustrated and it was powerful in its reminder. Thankfully, I snapped a picture.
 

I had breakfast with George several weeks ago and got to see him about a week before his death at his house. George as always was positive. George was just a guy you felt good being around. He had this way about him that effused love and grace. He was sharp - very sharp so you could not run around him intellectually. With one exception however - he was hard of hearing and you had to remind yourself sometimes to turn up the volume.

I am reminded how diverse God's church is and that diversity is what makes it work. That is one of the benefits of CLC is this diversity of men. I will miss George greatly and am privileged to have known him. I am so grateful to God for putting him in my life and look forward to reuniting with him. 

First Impression Bias

A number of weeks ago, our company was exhibiting at a trade show. A man of large stature approached our booth as well as a very short woman both from the same organization. Now in the world of trade shows, you have to determine fairly quickly who is a potential buyer and who are what we affectionately call "lookie-loos".  You want to especially spend your time with those that can actually buy something. I ASSUMED the man of large stature was the decision maker and the woman of short stature was his assistant or someone of less importance so I spent most of my time addressing him. At the end of our demonstration, he referred to the woman of short stature as his "bosses boss". We were joking about it afterwords as we seemingly were all caught in bias. I even jokingly told my co-worker Debbie (also my spouse so I can get away with this statement) that I thought I would ask the woman of short stature to get coffee for us.

Malcom Gladwell wrote a book "Blink" that describes the kind of rapid judgment calls we make. It is called "thin-slicing". It is a necessary part of the human decision making process. As a business owner, I have to make snap judgments all the time, usually every day. But it is very dangerous when we apply it to human beings who have been uniquely made in the image of God. Stature is very misleading. Saul, the failed king of Israel was a tall man of great stature. David, God's man was "ruddy" which almost means kind of effeminate looking. Paul apparently was not a man of great stature. The apostles for the most part were men you would not pick as your football team.

My judgment call was incorrectly based on stature only and obviously an incorrect one. I think what I need and what most of us needs is a more discerning heart when it comes to people. Thin slicing is not a bad thing - we have to be able to make sound decisions on minimal information. But when it comes to people, we need to be more contemplative. We need to see them through the God lens. Each is unique and who they are in God's eyes and their potential is not always obvious. In the business context, had I looked past my sexist-height bias, I would have seen that more clearly.

Diversity Unites Around a Common Cause

We all generally believe that when we get others opinions, we can be more effective. Few generally believes he is a lone island and he has all knowledge within himself.  However, we generally get counsel from those we trust and are well acquainted with. However, what is surprising is that when we work with people that are "different" thank ourselves, we actually tend to perform better than those we tend to know better.

In a study done by Katherine Phillips, professor at Columbia Business School, groups put together with outsiders (people they had never met before) performed nearly twice as effectively as those that performed alone. No big surprise there. But they performed 40% better than those that were matched with people they already knew. It seems that the more insecure we are, the more inclined we are to reconcile opposite opinions. They were more focused and accurate. They were less quick to just jump on the opinion of someone else.

I have been part of a CLC group now for a year and a half. It is my second group. In CLC, you meet with a group of 10-14 guys once a week for two years. Our group like many is very diverse. But that is what makes it so cool. I have learned so much from my CLC brothers and by now, I know I can be completely transparent. It was not always that way as groups have to be together for a period of time before gelling.

Diversity within a common cause is the most effective. That is why you could go to a sporting event and be high-fiving your neighbor even though you don't know him. The shootings in Charleston instead of driving a wedge between the black and white community united them in a common resolve. It did not fulfill the shooters desire to ignite racial tension. The bond of a common faith is what united them. Kingdom diversity united through the perspective of grace. I find it amazing that we think that the solution to racial tension is to fight it from the outside-in. Education isn't the answer to the depraved human heart. Gun control won't solve hate. Reconciliation comes from the healing of the human heart. That can only be supernatural. And that is what we see happening in Charleston.

Men Need To Step Up

Today being Father's day we remember those dads who are instrumental in our lives. My dad is 84 and living near Tucson, Arizona. My dad took a strong interest in me, especially my athletics. He still remembers things from my youth that I have long since forgotten.  My father-in-law was also very special in my life. Like my dad, he took a special interest in my various software businesses. He went to be with the Lord in November, 2013 and I still miss him often.

I spend a lot of time with men as part of my ministries. I am also an observer of men in our culture. I have to say I am gravely concerned. Maybe it is me, but men seem to be much more passive today. There is a big difference between being quiet and being passive. My girls tend to be dominant personalities, so the men in their life tend to be quiet. But that does not make them passive. Passive is defined by the dictionary as "accepting or allowing what happens or what others do, without active response or resistance". Withdrawn may be a better definition. Some of this is driven by our social media culture where it is so easy to withdraw.

Men are to be the spiritual leaders in the home. They are to set an example in ministry. In our marital mentoring, rarely will the man dispute that he is to be the leader in the home. But practically they don't do it. Why? It is so easy to let the wife lead. It starts with a personal relationship with Christ. If that is not strong, they is little chance for the home to be strong. If it is strong, the family is the beneficiary of the overflow life. Guys need to be in the presence of Christ reading Scripture, meditating, and praying often.

Second, men need to hang with other men. If men are in isolation, they are especially vulnerable. They need other men for accountability and exhortation. I meet with men frequently because not only do I need them, but they need me. Pat Morley, bestselling author of books to men says he can guarantee spiritual failure if those two things are absent. It is our only hope.

Are Storms Predictable?

This summer seems to be especially unpredictable when it comes to rain showers. Seems like they are popping up every day. I wanted to get on my bike and it had just rained today. So I popped up my trusty Weather Channel app and looked at the weather by hour which looked like this.

Looking at the hourly at the time there was a two hour window where there was 0% chance of rain. Thus I had a two hour window to get my ride in which is pretty much what I needed. That is pretty cool that in the midst of a stormy, rainy day, I can squeeze my ride in. As I sit here typing this blog, the weather isn't looking too hot.

We wish that trials were like this. God tells us that trials come. In fact 100% of people experience trials. God says in James 1:2 to "consider it all joy when you encounter various trials" (emphasis mine). It is not if, it is when you experience trials. Like saying to Clevelanders, you will have snow this winter. So we pack salt and get the snow shovels. The trick to trials is to prepare for them so that when they come, we have the foundation to endure them. Earlier this week I went to a Pirates game as I was in Pittsburgh. There were forecasts for the game of rain so some of us (not me) brought an umbrella. When the storm did come, I went back under the stands for cover.

The disciples knew that storms on the Sea of Galilee were commonplace. They did not know when but as seasoned fisherman they knew they were coming. Yet when the storm came and even knowing they had Jesus in the boat they panicked. If we know that we have Jesus present in our lives, we can withstand the storms of life whenever they come. We can even grow through them.

What if My Thoughts Were Mic'd Up

Lebron James was mic'd up during the recent round of the NBA playoffs. While there are moments where he may be kind of playing up to the mic (the pregnant woman comment for instance), I do think we see Lebron's leadership front and center. Very happy he is back in Cleveland (where he belongs).

Which leads me to think - "what if my thoughts were mic'd up". I heard Pastor Joe say this weekend that God knows our thoughts and if others would see it on the screen of life, we would be so rapidly disqualified from just about everything. Probably just in the past 24 hours my thoughts would reveal the following:

• Calling someone (under my breath) a "f---- ass----" who almost cut me off on the trail.
• Lusting over the scantily clad girl in Panera
• Getting impatient over a slow driver in front of me
• Feeling I am not getting recognized for something I should
• Being covetous over some recognition someone else got
• Mind wandering in church while we are singing hymns (thinking about the Cavaliers interestingly enough)
• ..... and that is in the past 24 hours or so

It is not surprising that when Jesus talks to the Pharisees he brings things always back to the seat of the mind. Permit me to paraphrase Jesus.  "You say do not commit adultery, but I say you have already committed adultery in your mind". "You say do not commit murder, but I say whoever curses or calls someone fool is guilty of fiery hell".

No way you would be my friend if you knew what I thought. There is a very fine line separating me from the worst person we can imagine. That is what is so amazing about grace. Grace is God seeing me and knowing me at my absolute worst and loving me, pursuing me, caring for me, sacrificing for me. God, the creator taking my absolute worst upon himself in judgment and freeing me from the tyranny of my own thoughts.

I get heaven - God judicially paying the penalty for my worst. That is grace. But I also get life here. Seeing good in people, loving people, caring for people. Not perfectly - that will never happen this side of eternity. But imperfectly through my own carnal flesh. Lord, as you mic up my thoughts, thank you for accepting me at my worst and transforming me into your image.

Acts of Honesty

We live in a fallen world where it seems like daily we are disappointed by others or we seem to disappoint them. But then there are days where seemingly simple acts just overwhelm us. We had two incidences in the past few weeks where simple honesty was evident.

The first is when we were in Arizona and we were on our way to the wedding when Deb realized she had left her camera and iPhone sitting on the bench outside the hotel. We were already 20 minutes away when she realized it so I went back. When I got to the hotel, the hotel receptionist said that the husband of one of the housekeepers had picked it up and turned it in. "Thank you sir whoever you are" (should have gotten his name).

The second is even more amazing. We got this voice mail a few days ago. The quality is not great but listen to this message.

The TSA agent, Chris O' Brien had found the billfold of a friend of mine with my card in it and called me. I had met with my friend for breakfast that day and I knew he was traveling to St. Louis so it was pretty easy to determine who it belonged to. It had a fair amount of money it and Ms. O'Brien went the extra mile to call me and then to make arrangements to send the billfold back to my friend. He has since told me he has received the billfold with a Money Order for the full amount of cash.

How easy it would have been to keep it or just turn it in. As someone who has bashed the TSA from time to time as an ineffective, bureaucratic organization, I was reminded by the Holy Spirit that people work there and people make the difference. Thank you Ms. O'Brien for your simple act of honesty!

The breath of God (Holy Spirit) lived out through people is how I term this. Now I don't know if Ms. O'Brien or the husband of the housekeeper knew the Lord. But I do know that honesty is one of the marks of a spirit-filled person. It is a mark of common grace. Common grace is exhibited in our world every day. I know I sometimes don't appreciate it like I should and these little reminders are so helpful that though we live in a fallen world, the breath of God is evident.

A Promise I Made 30 Years Ago

Tomorrow, I will be celebrating 30 years of keeping a promise. I made a promise 30 years ago to take a person, Debbie to be my wife. I promised that I would love and cherish her as my wife for a duration of time - till death do us part. I made a contract (a covenant) in front of God and witnesses. The contract had a symbol in the form of a ring. I still wear that ring and it reminds me of the contract I entered into. And in the beauty of old technology, here is that promise I made.

 

Marriage is very hard. Deb and I love mentoring young couples that look starry-eyed at each other not knowing what the future holds. We say that the first 10 years of our marriage were pretty brutal. We say that we both made a promise and God honored that promise. The promise is what mattered - the feelings come along. I "feel" more strongly about Debbie than I ever have but those feelings are secondary and come from the promise.

We live in a world where promises have little resolve. We hear of marriages where the couples "grow apart". We look for compatibility using online dating sites. We "try it out" by living together. Trying it out sounds logical, but without the covenant promise it carries no weight. I am utterly convinced and so is Deb that God saved our marriage by a) us honoring the promise we made, and b) us committing our marriage to prayer. I heard a statistic just this week that marriages have a divorce rate of 1 in 1500 where the couples pray together. The general odds are 50/50. It does not surprise me - marriage truly is supernatural! God weaves together two broken, selfish, sinful people together as a couple. The marriage union is a symbol of Christ's love for His people the church. It is the closest thing we get on this earth to the supernatural union of Christ with us. Christ's love for us was evident for us on the cross and ratified with these words "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5). When I make a marriage promise, I am using these same words.

Righteous vs. Unrighteous Anger

A number of years back I was playing for our church softball team. It was a large church so we actually fielded a very competitive team and played in an industrial league. One game we were being beaten fairly badly and the other team seemed to be yukking it up at our expense. Our coach came in and said in all seriousness that we need to kindle our "righteous anger".

Now, I am not sure I can peg exactly righteous anger vs. unrighteous anger, but I know that was not it. I will give it my best shot however using the lens of Scripture and the Holy Spirit to guide me. Righteous anger looks at things through God's eyes. Well God hates sin but loves the sinner. That is why Jesus could go into the temple (twice) and turn over the tables of the moneychangers who pretended they knew God but could love the woman at the well, or the woman caught in adultery, or rich young ruler, or the cheat Zacchaeus. Not once did he approach these obvious sinners in anger. The difference - they did not know God or really even pretend to know God.

Unrighteous anger is looking at things through the lens of man. All too often we flip the two - we hate the sinner before we hate the sin. No wonder James says that the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God (James 1:20). Truth be told, many of us are not that far off from the hatemongers at Westboro Baptist Church.

I have said many times that I have an anger problem. Many people would not say that that know me but those who know me best can attest to it.  As I was thinking about this blog today while I was riding my bike, a car came up behind me and laid on the horn as I was turning left at a red stop light. No doubt from a legal perspective I had the right to the lane and there was one car at the lane. I should have let it go, but instead I cursed at the man in flowery words that I am quite capable of letting loose. The man yelled right back at me. I doubt seriously that man knew I name the name of Christ in my heart.  That is the anger of man illustrated before my very eyes.

To nip anger in the bud requires me to look at another sinner like me through the God lens. God sees another lost person just like me. He sees another man or woman worthy of His grace just like me. I missed it today and pray I will see it tomorrow.

Lives That Matter

The events of this week reminded me that we in the West seem to cheapen the lives of those that are deemed expendable. This week hundreds of people lost their lives trying to escape brutality and towards a better life and 2,300 people lost their lives in a horrendous earthquake in Nepal. But most of the media attention was on the two hour special on Bruce Jenner. It seems almost daily we ignore large events like these in favor of tabloidism and titillating pieces of news.

I was reminded of this when I visited Rwanda in 2005 and 2009 that 1 million people lost their lives and at that time we in our country were fixated on O.J. Simpson. I am saddened by this. Our country still does so much to help those in need, but I sometimes question how much we really know and appreciate that these are real people. God cares about the poor and disenfranchised. That is very clear from His word. Every life matters to God.

This was brought clear to me as last weekend I was in San Antonio and on my way from the hotel to the convention center, I ran into Michelle, a homeless woman who asked me for money.  Many times I just keep walking but when the Holy Spirit really pricks my consciousness, I simply ask them "What is your story".  Michelle says she was beat up by her boyfriend. I asked her if she has spent time at a shelter and she told me she had but someone tried to rape her. I asked her if she had been to a church and she said that the church wouldn't welcome her. She said she trusted herself in the streets. My heart breaks.  Where is the church for this woman?

On the plane back from San Antonio, I sat next to Kariston (I believe that is how she spelled it) who was on her way to her fiancee's funeral who lost his life rolling his truck the previous week.  She also told me she was pregnant with his child. I hope I was just a brief bit of grace for this young woman.

I find myself convicted of my extreme callousness towards the lives of others.  Oh God, remove my heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh. Give me "baby skin" that I might see others in their time of need and be ready to give just a small bit of your grace.

Heed the Signals

One of my favorite bike routes takes me up Route 82 to the Summit Bike and Hike Trail. You can then take that south where it connects to the Portage Bike Trail or north where it connects to the Cuyahoga Bike and Hike trail. Route 82 is quite busy and the speed limit along that road is 45 miles an hour. The trail actually crosses Route 82. There is a crossing signal that you can initiate as a walker or cyclist which issues flashing lights to the traffic. However, I have learned a long time ago that at best 1 in 3 people will actually stop for the flashing lights to let the people cross. Some probably don't know they are supposed to stop, some may not care and proceed anyway, and then there is the group that actually lets people cross.

I was reminded that God issues warning signals throughout the Scriptures. It is not good for us to violate those signals. They are there for our own good. Like the crossing signals however, we can be ignorant of them (not know they are really there and for our own good), we can choose to ignore them (in which case, beware because they are there for a reason) or we can obey them. I find in my own life that I have to have a willingness and even a yearning to obey the signals. I have to trust that they are there for my good. I have to trust that they are there for me to be everything God wants me to be. And then I have to take the step of obedience.

It is not enough to desire to obey the signals. I am sure some who pass through probably think they should but they don't. Maybe they are in a hurry. But intent simply is not good enough. We must desire AND actually take the step of obedience. Our life depends on it.

The Zamperini Story After Chapter 37

After seeing the movie Unbroken, I felt compelled to read the book. It is the story of Louis Zamperini, an Olympic athlete who endured incredible hardship as a survivor of a plane crash in open sea and then as a prisoner-of-war of the Japanese. After seeing the movie, I could not believe what he went through but the book tells even more of what he had to endure. To emerge a survivor is truly incredible.

About 95% of the book is dedicated to the horrors that Zamperini experienced. But the title is misleading because Zamperini could not possibly have endured what he endured without being broken in some way. Every man has his breaking point. Zamperini post-war was a shell of a man. We learn of his alcoholism and recurring nightmares of his lengthy abuse at the hands of the sadistic Japanese guard "The Bird" beginning in Chapter 34. We learn of his overwhelming desire to find and kill "The Bird". We learn of his marriage falling apart. This is a man that is really broken. We would not have a movie if the story ended after Chapter 37. Zamperini would have been one of the many racked by the ravages of Post Traumatic Stress.

In Chapter 38, we learn of his coming to faith in Christ and in Chapter 39 we hear of him going to Japan to purposely forgive his captors. He even was willing to forgive "The Bird" who was determined to be alive but did not show up to face Zamperini. The book ends after Chapter 39 although there is an Epilogue that describes Zamperini's  life post-conversion. The movie celebrates this man's endurance and so that is truly special. But it is false to think that this man was unbroken.

Time and space could not heal the deep wounds of his soul. God had to heal him.The opposite of broken is not unbroken, but healed. Zamperini was healed! What healed him was grace. Jesus Christ was broken in an even greater way. His undeserved breaking resulted in our healing.  We cannot will ourselves from our brokenness - we have to be healed. Healing is being changed from the inside out and that is what Zamperini experienced. And that is why we have the movie.

The Feel of Death

When I was in Rwanda, we visited a site of a technical school where more than 50,000 people were slaughtered during the genocide. As a memorial, the bones were excavated and laid out in the open. Debbie made a comment when we visited that place that she heard absolute silence - no birds singing, no sound of children playing, just utter silence. I have been told the wind that whips threw the trees makes a sound in a minor chord.

We just returned from Good Friday service and they did a great job of having us feel the literal sting of death. But not just death, but the death of our Lord. At the end, they simulated in some small way the revulsion of nature at the death of the Lord. Death has a sting Paul says - we feel that sting. It is the sting that is caused by sin.

Wisdom That is Not Self-Serving

I got takeout Chinese food this week and I eagerly opened my fortune cookie to see what pearls of wisdom were in there.  This is what mine said.

I was Ralphie on "A Christmas Story" who infamously said "A Crummy Commercial?".  I paid good money for this Chinese food and this is what I got.  Someone must have run out of good ideas.

A lot of us think that God is too busy running the world that he has run out of time and wisdom. But James says that God gives to us "generously and without reproach" (1:5). In other words we can never ask him for too much wisdom and He never gives it grudgingly. God doesn't say "Oh here comes Dan - he is out of wisdom again" which happens often by the way.

Another interesting thing about this verse is it's placement. It comes right after the end of the verses talking about trials. Trials force us to abandon much thought that we have wisdom. Trials bring us to our "wits end" (Psalm 107:27). It is great to know that God does not leave us in trials but offers us His abundant wisdom.

As my kids got older, it is interesting that they finally got around to asking their mother and I for advice. As they approached the real world, they recognized that we had experiences and wisdom worth asking for. And we got a small glimpse of what it feels like to be God in dispensing wisdom. We were only too glad to help and that was a form of love. God will not leave us lacking.

Quick to Hear, Slow to Speak, Slow to Anger

This you know my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.  James 1:19-20

I love the book of James - it has to be my favorite book of the Bible because it is so practical and down to earth.  I have committed to memorizing it this year and I am sure from time to time I will comment on it in my blog. James talks to scattered believers all over the globe at the time of its writing but it feels like he is just talking to you and I in our living room. He refers to us constantly in his book as "his beloved brothers".

I talk too much, I listen too little, and I get angry too easily. Isn't it interesting how those three are connected? It starts with listening to others. I have a habit of not listening with empathy. One of Steven Covey's seven habits is "Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood". My brain goes to what I am going to say without listening to what the other is saying. Or I have a nasty habit of filling in what the other is saying. My wife and I call each other out on that all the time. Wise counselors say very little. They have perfected the act of listening. I have a friend who is an incredibly good listener. His listening enables him to ask wise questions. My board of directors of my company are fantastic listeners. So it starts there.

If you are quick to hear, you have to be slow to speak. You wait until it is time to speak. Most of us don't wait until the pause. One time I had co-workers who were constantly interrupting each other. We used another Steven Covey technique called the "talking stick". The talking stick is an object that rests in the hands of another until they are done and then they push it to you to symbolize that they are done. Another technique is asking "framing questions". It simply means repeating back what you think the other person is saying.

Finally, isn't it interesting that anger is associated with listening and speaking. But that makes sense. So much of conflict is rooted in an inability to communicate. Anger is born out of frustrated expectations. I find it really interesting that much of my anger surfaces in two venues where I retain some level of anonymity - e-mail and car. E-mail is uni-directional communication. I can say exactly what is on my mind without any response from you. So many times (even this past week), I sent an e-mail in anger based on a total misconception. Should have called the person when it sent off a nerve and it would have revealed the issue. It is the cowards way out and misdirected anger is cowardly.

Second is driving. I am a recovering tailgater. Just yesterday (as I was leaving church), I tailgated a woman who was driving slower than I would have liked. She got angry at me, let me pass and honked the horn at me. Now if I was in a line at the grocery store and I saw that woman's face, I would have let her go in front of me. But because I was in anonymity, I get frustrated. I literally have to imagine that person in that car as in front of me personally.

Trying to Do Better

I love ESPN's Pardon the Interruption (PTI).  Because it is on in the afternoon I hardly ever get to watch it, but I listen to it via podcast. Tony Kornheiser always closes the show with "we'll try to do better then next time" and Michael Wilbon always closes with "same time tomorrow knuckleheads".  Because I have nothing better to do, I captured a week of show closes for your listening pleasure.


Our repentance to God must often seem like this. It is hollow almost comical. "I'll try and do better the next time Lord" knowing full well I will stumble again. Often it happens with our closest relationships. If I belch at home (usually after something heavily carbonated), I might say I'm sorry, but really I am quite proud of my ability to belch loudly.

The good news is we have a God who loves to forgive repentant sinners. My sin breaks God's heart and he so wants to restore me. He will forgive and restore countless times, endless numbers of times. But there is a caution flag. There was and is a cost to this forgiveness. Jesus took my sins to the cross so my sin should grieve me more in the cost of it than the fear of penalty. The writer to the Hebrews says "If we go on sinning willfully, there is no longer a sacrifice" (13:26) and "we are trampling underfoot the blood of the covenant" (13:29).

My sin should make me weep for what it cost God far more than what it can cost me. It cost God everything. It should make my repentance genuine and not hollow. I need to trust God to move me away from sin in true repentance. I can no longer just "try to do better the next time".

Are Signs Ok?

King Hezekiah was dying and he appealed to God to live through His illness. God listened to Hezekiah and gave him 15 more years of life. Further, He gave Hezekiah a supernatural sign that He heard his prayer by causing a shadow on the stairway to go back 10 steps. Note Hezekiah did not ask for the sign.

King Ahaz was told he would be delivered from the King of Aram. He was told to ask for a sign of this deliverance. He refused and the country was judged. Moses and Gideon asked for signs and they were given them. They were not chastised for their requests. God uses signs as signs of his covenant with the people, yet Jesus says an evil and adulterous nation craves a sign.

The word "sign" appears 90 times in the ESV Bible. As people, we crave for signs. Something visible that we can see or touch. We live in the seen world. Yet we are told to look at things that are unseen (2 Cor 4:17-18). So what are we to think of signs today?

If I think biblically about this issue, I seem to come down that God does not care for signs that test and validate him to an unbelieving faith. We might call those foxhole or ultimatum requests. I think that is what Jesus was referring to when He responds to the Pharisees in Matthew 12. But I do think that God will provide signs to a weak faith. I call these "fleece" prayers after Gideon in the Book of Judges. God knows that my faith can be pretty flimsy and that I simply cannot live 100% in trust of the unseen world and I really need to see Him every now and then in the seen world. So he says these prayers are ok. Further I have learned from the Bible that God will give these signs even when we don't ask for them.

I am so thankful that God knows how fragile I am and meets me halfway in the seen world. It might be something really tiny but very obvious that God is here with me in the seen world. Something that encourages me in my faith. There are many days where I just feel completely lost and abandoned. And seemingly in those days God appears in my seen world with a sign. However, I want to be careful that I don't cross that fine line to demanding a prayer to authenticate God. He is there whether I see Him or not.

Pulmonary What?

Pulmonary embolisms (PE) have hit the news this past week. First Jerome Kersey, formerly NBA star of the Portland Trailblazers died from PE and now Chris Bosh is out for the season with PE. PE, or blood clots to the lung are very serious. According to the CDC, about 10-30% of people die from PE within one month of diagnosis. I know because in July, 2008 I had an episode of PE.

The quick version is that I had fractured my ankle playing baseball but then did not get it looked at for a week before I went to the hospital for an X-ray. They then immobilized and casted it creating what my doctor brother called a "blood pool factory". After a few weeks, we were on vacation in Indiana when I developed severe cramping to my chest which I called "the worst runners cramp I ever had". Fortunately with a medical doctor in the house (my father-in-law) and a nurse spouse, they diagnosed it correctly and got me right to the hospital. I was diagnosed with two PE clots, one which was deemed severe. The doctor told me likely if I hadn't gone promptly in, I would have died.

I spent five days in the hospital and then was on coumadin for amount nine months which thins out the blood making the risk of nonoccurrence much lower. Some people have to stay on coumadin for life. The problem with coumadin is that it actually is a risk by itself. When on this, you bleed abnormally. For example, I bit my nails and sometimes if I hit a cuticle, I can bleed for an hour. So if you are active and you have an accident, you can bleed internally for a while. That is why people on this drug have to be extra careful and why rumors of Bosh's retirement surfaced because he may have had to stay on coumadin.

The question you have to ask is whether it is better to be alive or less active. When I was discharged from the hospital, I had a series of tests which determined a slight proclivity for me to have clots. However, I determined that I did not want to compromise my active lifestyle (biking, baseball, etc.) so I was willing to take that risk.

So what are the lessons from what I learned from my experience with PE:

1. A realization that life can end at any moment. I had never experienced anything life threatening and having now had that, I have a much greater appreciation for the brevity of life.
2. I have also learned to experience and treasure relationships much more. As author Pat Morley says, I have an appreciation for who will be at my funeral.
3. I have learned that life is worth living to the fullest. I have not stopped playing baseball despite my accident (although I am more cautious about sliding which is what caused my ankle fracture).
4. I am more sensitive to those with illnesses and ailments (2 Cor. 1:4). I know what PE is firsthand.
5. Most of all, I know where I am going when I die. I have placed my trust in Christ for forgiveness so I don't fear death. If you have that reassurance, you can live life here because you have life to come. I hope you have that reassurance. If not, you can.

None of us Likes to Stink

I don't golf very much. It is because I get aggravated at the stupid game in which I can hit a great shot and still get an 8 on a hole because I hit a lousy shot right after. I played yesterday with my father in Arizona. It was the first time I had touched golf clubs in probably two years. Nevertheless, I hit my first drive straight down the middle of the fairway and then hit the middle of the green on all three Par 3's. Still I followed it up with bad putting or bad chipping, all of which translated to a mediocre score.


I don't like to be lousy at something. But in order to be good at golf, I would need to devote significant amounts of time and probably lessons to get to the necessary skills to be decent. And at this point in my life I am not willing to devote the time and money to be good. So I know going out there that I will be hard-pressed to break 100. I should not be surprised that I don't experience hardship in a game that requires practice and precision.

I run into so many guys in the Christian life who do the same thing with their faith. They don't spend any time reading the Bible or praying or memorizing. They treat it like a drive-through at Wendy's. A few minutes here, a few minutes there. Their excuse is that they are too busy. So they should expect to have a mediocre, unproductive faith because with a faith relationship comes an investment of time. I don't show up on a golf course and become Tiger Woods (oops maybe not a good example now but you get the point). I can't become a productive believer without spending the time.

Paul says in 1st Corinthians 9 that we are to treat our spiritual lives as running a race. He also says in 1 Timothy 4:7 to train ourselves for godliness. In other words an investment of time and attention. We can still expect to sin, but when we sin we become much more conscious of our sin and the gap between us and the holiness of God. As golf demands almost perfection so God's standard is perfection.

Resolutions to Habits

We are now well into 2015, a time when we try to get beyond New Year's resolutions to actually making habits stick. When I finished the Christmas holidays, my weight was well beyond my comfort level and I could feel myself slipping more and more into bad eating habits. As it turns out, I started reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. Once I started, I could not put the book down. It is an easy read and one that reminds us that there is a pattern to forming good habits.


Without spoiling the premise of the book, you can summarize it by saying that every habit is described by three components, Cue, Routine, and Reward. A habit has to have a cue, something that signals you to the habit. We don't think about brushing our teeth, we just do it. Then there is the routine, the actual thing we do. Finally, the reward - something that is in the end that reinforces the behavior. During the winter, I am always hit or miss on my working out so I decided I would simply do the same minimalist exercise every morning so I could assure myself some exercise. I sit on my butt most days so this is what I need to do every morning. My cue is my alarm clock, my reward is a breakfast.

I have also applied it to scripture memory. I have always been big on scripture memory, but I haven't had the discipline to do it consistently. I found a program Scripture Memory Typer that prompts me (Cue) each day to review the verses I have committed. It also appeals to my competitiveness because it ranks participants and also gives you little badges and points(reward). I have set a goal of cumulatively memorizing 1000 verses of scripture. I strongly believe that holding scripture close to my heart is a critical discipline (Psalm 119:11).

Finally, a friend told me about a concept called Journibles, the 17:18 series. In this, you actually write out the scriptures longhand and then write your notes and observations about the verse. I am a lousy journal writer. I have tried several times and quit. This however, I can sustain because I actually have something to write on or comment on. I am currently starting in the Book of James, one of my favorite books of the Bible.

Our Lord did not read The Power of Habit, but He built in disciplines that were consistent. In Luke 22:39, it tells us that going to pray was His custom. Luke 5:16 so he would often withdraw to pray. Paul rejoices in the Colossae believers their faith and discipline (Col 2:5). But doing so should not be motivated by checking the box, but by genuine desire for growth. It is the key to staying power and moving from resolutions to habits.

Did God Help Seattle Win?

Russell Wilson gave tribute to God and even intimated that God helped/enabled the Seahawks defeat the Packers last week.

I admire that Russell Wilson gave glory to God in this post-game interview. I certainly appreciate that more than guys who thump their chest after making a big play. Did God enable Seattle to win? I don't know - God can do anything so far from me to question that it is not appropriate.  However, the following thoughts passed through my head.

1. God uses our weaknesses far more than our strengths. In weakness, God is most magnified. In weakness there is little else left in us besides God. In most cases, there is little doubt that God is behind it. In an athletic contest, it is pretty murky who is behind the results.
2. Victory in Jesus is based on the forces of darkness against the forces of light not the forces of light against the forces of light. Winners and losers are part of life but I would very much hesitate to say God picks winners at the expense of losers. I would like to think that the Packers would not believe that God is against them. See Aaron Rodgers assessment.
3. I can't think of a single Bible verse that references competition between parties. The domain of athletic contests is more based on preparation, self discipline, and competing according to the rules. Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. And everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I buffet my body and make it my slave, lest possibly, after I have preached to others, I myself should be disqualified. (1 Cor. 9:24-27).
4. Often, a time gap exists after a point of failure when self reflection occurs and God is able to work through weakness.  Imagine a player pointing to the sky after a fumble or a missed field goal. I think such a player would likely be run out of town. But fast-forward years later and recovery refocuses on the inner strength God gives us to rebound. Consider Ernest Byner who now many years later from a devastating fumble in the AFC championship is able to write a book about it called "Everybody Fumbles". 
5. In the pages of scripture, success often is pointed in terms of spiritual disciplines. Joshua 1:8 talks about for example, Joshua meditating on the word of God day and night and then he would have success as he prepares to go into the promised land.

My Fake Friend

Around Christmas time, I received the following envelope.

Looks like a Christmas Card like the others we receive around the holidays. But I don't know a Chris Thomas in El Segundo, CA. so of course I opened it. And inside is this advertisement for Direct T.V.

I had been duped. As Ralphie would say in A Christmas Story, "A Crummy Commercial". Someone pretended to know me so they could get what they wanted from me. Isn't that terrible? Did not incline me to buy Direct TV at all.

Then the Holy Spirit prompted me in gentle, but firm words "but you do that to people to". I act in a way that is not much different than that envelope scam. As a businessman, I try to get people to do things for me and I can pretend to be interested in them or generate false compliments. In other words, I am not authentic. In the Greek language of the NT, the word hypocrite translated to an actor, someone who is false and fake. Jesus said do not be like the hypocrites, an actor.

Be authentic. Do things for people without expectation of return. Don't manipulate people. Don't be a hypocrite. That is what God requires of me and you.